Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Whosi-whatians and the Whati-somethingians

So we all know that Jesus came to Earth, died, and was then resurrected. One of the biggest points in history, yeah? Yeah. And the Bible is pretty big and epic too, right? Of course! It’s one of the best sources of history, yeah? Yeah. And a buncha people died to protect it. And this is the story of a couple of people that did.
So there was this group of people named the Petrobrusians. They were called that because they followers of this Frenchy named Peter Bruis. And because he’s French, that makes his name pronounced really weird, so it sounds like Broo-EE. But he was a priest, and he taught the Bible a bunch. He was pretty much like most priests, but because he’s French, that makes him weird amongst the other priests. What was so weird? He read the Bible. For himself.

That was realllly weird for the priests around him. Why didn’t they read and teach the Bible?
NUMBER UNO: A lot of people couldn’t read. *le sob* If you can’t read, that makes it pretty hard to read.
NUMBAR DUO: Bibles were written by hand. That made them expensive, and they were rare. So if you don’t have a Bible, makes it kinda hard to read.
NUMBUH TREE: People who could read were discouraged, because the bigger fish in the Church (capital C.) thought that the Bible could be misunderstood by the little fish that were commoners.
NUMBAH FORE: Fore isn’t a number. It’s what you yell when you play golf.

So it sounds like the big fish were mean. And they kinda were, because they didn’t want the little fish/minnows to read it because they might misunderstand it. And that’s sad :c
So Pete the Priest taught the Bible to other little fish and minnows. He didn’t just teach the Bible, he taught people how to read the Bible. Sooo that made big fish mad.

They thought that Pete the Priest and his little followers as a threat. They thought that might make people question how things were done around that place. So it WASN’T about the not-being-able-to-read, or about expensivenes, and it wasn’t about rarity!


But it was about power!
So eventually Pete the Priest was accused of heresy. Not Hershy, heresy. That means preaching, teaching, or otherwise going against the established Church and scriptures. Jesus was accused of heresy, Blasphemy, etc.
So Pete the Priest was accused of heresy, and was burned at the stake. *le sob.*

So now we have another guy to study. His name is Peter Waldo.

So the Waldensians were also pretty devout Christians. They followed, you guessed it, Peter Waldo. He was a rich businessman, livin’ the high life, having fun. And then he became a Christian. He read the Bible for himself, and he thought that the Bible should be the highest authority of a believer’s life, not the Church. He read the Bible a LOT, and he pretty much rejected everything the Church said. He founded the writing of a LOT of Bibles, which were all translated to the common language of the Frenchies. Which I assume was French?
So the Waldos had a cool way of putting the Bible out there. They’d go out in pairs, selling jewelry and cool stuff, and people would say “So you got anything else?” And then they’d say:
“Oh yeah, we’ve got this big rarity-


“Oh yeah, we’ve got this big rarity, a gem that shows you God and another that makes you love Him.” And then they’d pop out a Bible.
So Waldo then gave all his money away to help the poor, and a buncha other followers did that too. So nuns and monks? Normal for them. So normal people? Nuns and monks for them. They weren’t nuns or monks, so that was really weird for a buncha normal people to live in poverty.
And then the Church decided to say “DON’T TEACH THE BIBLE UNLESS YOU’RE A PRIEST, NUN, OR MONK.”
So guess what Waldo did? He said “Psch no.” And they just went right on.
So Pope Lucius (OH GEE WHAT A COINCIDENCE) III (whose idea was it to name their kid Lucius? THREE TIMES!) ex-communicated people from the church. A lot of people. So a lot of people were kicked out of church. He also burned a bunch of people at the stake.
Oddly enough, Waldo himself didn’t actually die at the stake. He died of natural causes. Weird.
So there are actually some people that are still Waldensians today. They live all over Europe, and in parts of America (The the United States is more common, but also the rest of America too.)
ANTI-CLIMATIC ENDING. So I shall end with this:


1 comment: