Thursday, June 28, 2012

WITTY TITLE YEP

SO BASICALLY WE’VE COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY LEFT AUSTRALIA OUT OF EVERYTHING.

Because I don’t know why.

WELL NOW I DO. BECAUSE IT TOOK THEM UNTIL 1605 TO FIND IT.

This guy was named Willem. It’s like William. But it’s not. Willem Janszoon. Which is so much fun to say.

BUT SO.

Willem was the guy who found Australia. He was probably born in the Netherlands, and he decided he’d take a little trip over to the East Indies. And when he got there, he was told to keep going East to New Geneau. Gengue. Genua. Whatever.

FOR GOLD.

Which he never found.

BUT INSTEAD HE FOUND AUSTRALIA.

He hit New Genuea, and then he just kinda turned his ship around to go to Australia.

Why?

I don’t know.

BUT HE WAS THE FIRST KNOWN EUROPEAN TO STEP FOOT ON THE CONTINENT.

But then he left because it was scary and the people were mean.

SO NOW WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT STRAIGHT UP AUSTRALIA. NOT A PERSON. NOT A RULER. THE CONTINENT COUNTRY THING.

It is the 6th largest country, and the outback is 2/3rds part of that.

AND THE OUTBACK HAS A ROCK. A BIG GIANT ONE. A 1,042 FOOT HIGH ROCK.

tadaa~

To the EAST there are SNOWY MOUNTAINS.
To the WEST there are BEAUTIFUL BEACHES.

ok we are not starting with that again

BUT.

KANGAROOS.

And other marsupials. They’re like. Bird Mammal things when it comes to babies.

KANGAROOS. KOALAS. WOMBATS. WALLABEES. BANDACOOTS.

AND PLATYPUSES.

AND ECHIDNAS.

Now real quick.

Hang on.

ECHIDNAS ARE MAMMALS. ECHIDNAS LAY EGGS. PLATYPUSES ALSO LAY EGGS.

PLATYPUSES ARE NOT THE ONLY MAMMALS TO LAY EGGS.

/cough

moving on.

WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE?

Aborigines!

They were like Australia’s Indian’s. They had some weird religion shtuffs, which I’m not going in to because it scares me.

ALSO!

They didn’t really fight much. Which is a good thing.

And they ate bugs. Which is kinda disgusting but whatever floats your boat. Or lack thereof considering there’s like NO WATER ANYWHERE in Australia. And they made Boomerangs and all that good stuff. AND DIDGERIDOOS.

A video of which I will post when I find one.

AND SUDDENLY EUROPEANS.

AND WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED WHEN THEY SHOWED UP?

BAD STUFF.

Basically everyone got mad at each other and started killing people and getting sick and bluh bluh.

And basically they all died except for like some.

And now only 2 or 3% of the population is Aboriginal. Which is sad.

SO THIS POST IS GOING TO END IN AN AWKWARD, ABRUPT MANNER.

JUST.

LIKE.

UH,,,

THIS.

Monday, June 25, 2012

THIS POST IS KINDA DERP BUT STILL

So basically Spain is outta the race. Was outta the race. Bluh bluh whatever. Because basically England beat the stink outta Spain.

AND OH MY WORD.

DON QUIXOTE.

OK SO YOU GUYS MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF IT BUT OH MAN.

It was a book.

And basically he’s insane. And it’s beautiful. Not really. It’s hilarious though. Go read it. Right now.

AND WHO WROTE THIS BOOK?

This guy. His name was Miguel Cervantas. Cer.... vantas.... carvantas... k-

ok nevermind we’re not going down that road again.

BUT ANYWAYS. He wasn’t really one a dem lerned people. Just a soldier against the Turks for five years. And in the battle of Lepanto, he got a big giant gash on his left hand. And basically he and his bro got kidnapped. And sold as slaves. And it just so happened that Miguel had some ~important letters~ and the pirates thought he was one of those really important people. So his mom and sisters started selling ALL the things to get money, but it took 5 years to get enough for the ransom to free him.

dude.

SO.

HE GOT OUT OF SLAVERY. THAT’S NICE.

And he started writing! I mean, he had a few poems published but nothing big. And then he wrote a romance novel for his girlfriend? It wasn’t very popular with anyone but her, but they got married. That’s sweet. And then the girl adopted one of his illegitimate kids?

wat.

ok but so.

He was kinda unlucky with his writing. For about 25 years. starving hipster artist person.

So he was working for the Spanish Armada for a little. And then it got sunk. So he was outta work.

And then he went to jail!

Because he was so in debbbbt.

AND THEN HE WROTE THIS LITTLE THINGY.

OR BIG THINGY.

IT’S ACTUALLY A REALLY LONG BOOK.

But what was it ABOUT.

IT'S ABOUT DON QUIXOTE.

Don is pretty insane. He was also obsessed with knights. He was like.

A scary geeknerdu who thinks everything is real no matter what AND THAT HE IS A KNIGHT AND EVERYONE IS A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS.

So he got his hands on some armour?

And he wore it. And walked around. And he had a lance. And basically everyone was pretty scared of him because he eventually starts attacking innocent bystanders. He got himself a squire somehow. And basically his “squire” was a practical realist.

how did this even happen.

ANYWAY.

Miguel published the first half of the book. It was good.

AND THEN HE WAITED.

HE WAITED A LONGGG TIME FOR THE SECOND HALF.

He waited 10 monkeying years to publish the second half.

oh my word ok that's a long time how does 10 years feel waiting for an update wow

10 years.

OK.

Now. I’ll stop the pointless wallowing in confusion.

But basically this has no point at all besides I’m obligated to do this post apparently?

also read this book.

read it.

get a translation though. because it’s impossible unless you speak old.

so yeah awkward post ahahaha /casuallyends

Thursday, June 21, 2012

HEY LOOK IT'S BACON LET'S USE THIS TO BUNP DOWN THAT AWKWARD POST ABOUT JAPAN OK GUYS OK.

NOMNOMNOMNOM.

MNOMNOM.

NOMITYNOM.

moar bacon.

This guy. This last name is Bacon.

FRANCIS BACON.

So you guys remember the Renaissance? Of course you do. WELL IT’S OVER NOW. Not really. It’s about to be. But not yet.

Francis Bacon was from England. And he was homeschooled. And when he was 12 he went to college.

Now doesn’t that make you feel good about yourself?

And then he went to law school!

While good old Elizabeth was alive, he had a few positions in the government. And he was one of the ones who voted to kill Bloody Mary. Well isn’t that nice.

And law was nice and all, but you know what he really liked?

PHILOSOPHY.

I know what I know if you know what I mean.

ANYWAY.

Like, he really liked philosophy. He loved Philosophy. He and philosophy went on multiple dates, had a meaningful relationship, he proceeded to propose to philosophy in a beautiful sentimental way, they got married, had kids, and lived a wonderful life together.

not really.

ON THEN HE GOT KNIGHTED.

And his wife philosophy was so proud.

well not really because philosophy is not a person but just go with it.

THEN HE WROTE A BOOK.

Called The Advancement of Learning. Which brought him a lot of fame. And to be frank, he was annoyed at these geniuses who were like ROME AND GREECE WERE THE BEST THING SINCE EVER. And Francis was like “no.”

Because he thought the answers was science and learning and bad grammar which bluh bluh bluh what am i doing.

THE SCIENCE. AND THE LEARNING. THESE WERE THE IMPORTANT THINGS. YOU CAN LEARN THIS, SO YOU CAN LEARN THIS, AND THEN YOU LEARN THIS SO YOU CAN LEARN THIS.

Does this make sense?

Yeah sure let’s go with that.

ALSO I FEEL THE NEED TO TELL YOU THAT HE SAID “KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.”

BECAUSE THAT’S IMPORTANT.

And he got married! He was 45 though. And it wasn’t for love.

herpderp.

But he got promoted! Twice. He was “The Lord Keeper of the Great Seal.” Which sounds awesome.

He also got another long list of titles which I’m not going into. But he was pretty awesome. And rich. And he spoiled himself like a prince.

WHICH MEANS ALL THE DEBT. And then he got in trouble. He was taking bribes from people, which was a very bad thing. And it was true. He said so. “I ACCUSE YOU OF TAKING BRIBES.” “Eeeeyup.”

AND WHERE DO PEOPLE GO WHENEVER SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS? THE TOWER OF LONDON. But he got out after four days because he was tight with King James. Like, the King James.

NOW.

After this embarrassment, he pretty much put himself into philosophy because he wasn’t allowed to be in government anymore. He wrote a few books and all that good stuff. Sorta I guess. He wrote one of those book essay things and stuff, but he also wrote stuff like Utopia. Except he had Atlantis.

No.

Not that Atlantis.

This is a different Atlantis I guess? I don’t know. This is all science though. I don’t think it says anything about it sinking though.

And he had an idea.

HE WANTED TO CATALOGUE ALL THE THEORIES.

He had all the theories. All of them.

Well not really but ok whatever.

AND HE WAS GONNA EXPLAIN THE UNIVERSE.

He thought big. Just... you know. Just a little. And as much as he loved science...

he wasn’t very good at it.

He spent a whoooole lotta time just thinking about it and writing about it. He didn’t do much. He just kinda sat there.

JUST.

LIKE.

PINTEREST.

“OH MY WORD LOOK AT ALL OF THIS IT’S SO AWESOME GONNA DO THIS STUFF ON THE WEEKEND!”

And then you spend allllllllll weekend surfing Pinterest more. And you say the same thing. GONNA GET STUFF DONE not really ever what am i doing with my life.

THIS RIGHT HERE IS NOT HOW THE AGE OF REASON WENT.

The age of Reason was like Pinterest. It was like people that pinned their own stuff on Pinterest. And they did everything on it. They like got to the beginning of Pinterest and did all the things. All of them. And the Renaissance kinda backed out.

And that sounds pretty nice, right?

Eh.

Wellll.

You see, people in the Age of Reason were like “WE HAVE PINTEREST SCIENCE WE DON’T NEED GOD”

which was/is sad.

FRANCIS DID NOT AGREE WITH THIS.

which was/is good.

He didn’t really have the best morals or anything, but he still thought that religion and science were like. buddies.

BUT THEN HE DIED IN THE SNOW WITH A CHICKEN.

It was a failed science experiment, basically.

So uh yeah that ended pretty abruptly but i cant do anything about it so go surf pinterest or something and pretend this never happened.

Monday, June 18, 2012

TOTEMO KAWAII U GUYS (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ HAVE SOME SPARKLES XDDD

OMG THIS LESSON IS GONNA BE SO TOTEMO KAWAII DESU NE YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA

BECAUSE JAPAN MAKES MY KOKORO GO DOKI DOKI DOKI DESU X333

erwait.

wait.

hang on.

what was that.

NO.

no way.

Japan kinda blocked off everyone from the everything.

Meaning they became isolationists. like, they closed off the entire country from the rest of the world.

JUSTLIKEHOMESCHOOLERS

wait, what was that?

I think it was the wind.

ANYWAYS SO I GUESS JAPAN WAS KINDA DANDERE FOR A LITTLE BIT TOTALLY NOT SUGOI GUYS (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

and that is really really important. Because they didn’t have a Protestant Reformation like EVERYONE ELSE. Because they didn’t know. Because bluh.

BUT WHAT WENT ON WITH JAPAN BEFORE THIS?!?!??!!?!1?

Who remembers who inhabitied Japan in the ancient times?

Ok good because I sure don’t.

THE AINU.

i nu that.

BA DUM TSS.

Then the first emperor!

Then the Yamato clan took over!

Then there was a big war. Until Prince Shotoku kinda took over and he kinda fixed some stuff.

And then Shoguns and Samurai. There was an emperor but he didn’t realy do anything. He just kinda was there. He didn’t do anything.

LOL BAKA GAIJIN ¬_¬

But so now we’re after that part.

WHY DID THEY STOP THE EVERYTHING THOUGH?

Because there was this guy. Named Tokugawa. Well he was actually Ieyasu. His name was Tokugawa Ieyasu, but it was like a regular name but flipped around. So his last name was actually Tokugawa but it came first.

PERFECT SENSE DESU THATS TOTEMO KAWAII I UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I LIKE TO PRETEND I'M JAPANESE WHEN I'M ACTUALLY AMERICAN BUT SHHHH DON'T TELL ANYONE XDDD

But this little kawai desu suteki moe shota lolli boy man girl child lived his life in captivity.

No man I’m serious this is like the saddest story everr ಥnಥ

He was in captivity until he was 15. Like, from 6 to 15. THAT’S LIKE FOREVERR.

Anyway he pretty much took over Japan. tee hee omg yandere bishies make my kokoro go doki doki no lie you guys (☉‿☉✿)

AND HE GOT TO BE A SHOGUN!

But he was 60. And he was nasty and old. And nobody really liked him but they respected him. And he sloooowlyyyy kinda cloooosed the couuuntryyy. Because he was afraid of westerners, apparently.

herpderpderp.

He was also scared that their class system would unravel.

andloosinghispowerbuthekindahidthatpart.

AND THEN HE MADE IT ILLEGAL TO MAKE IT CHRISTIAN IN JAPAN.

And what happens when you’re a Christian and it’s illegal?

YOU DIE.

THAT’S WHAT.

And a lot did die. And some where just shooshed. And the spread of Christianity was stopped. Only one port was open to outside traders, but then it got closed. And then they banned books from the outside.

THE HECK.

Basically, the islands started kinda competing against each other to be better. Not like war stuffs, but like “WE HAVE TO BETTER ANIMUUUU” “NO WE HAVE THE BETTER.” “NO WE DO.” “NO NO NO” and basically there was a really big middle class because no more export no more import. Economy awesome. Everyone is happy. And do you know what happens when everyone is happy, has money, and they get bigger and better stuff?

THEY HAVE BABY.

they all have baby.

the baby triple the population.

the baby crowded the population.

the population cannot feed the baby.

ALL OF THE RICE. ALL OF IT. And what do you need for rice? FARMERS. And even though they were poor, they were second to nobility.

ha ha ha wat.

WELL LET’S SAY YOU KNOW YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE COUNTRY. However, you are rice dirt poor. YOU’RE GONNA WANT SOME MORE MONEY, WILL YOU NOT?

Anyway, so basically the working class was frowned upon, which is really sad because they were the majority.

IN OTHER NEWS, THIS WAS ALSO KINDA A GOLDEN AGE.

kinda i guess.

NINJAS.

NINJAS.

NINNNNJASSS.

NINJAS ARE THE BEST THEY ARE BETTER THAN PIRATES AND WE WIN U BAKA GAIJIN OK WE ARE SO MUCH BETTER AND NINJAS RULE AND PIRATES STINK NO SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS NEED TO TAKE A BATH

They were hired to do ninjas stuff. like spy and fight and assassinate stuff.

AND YES THERE WERE GIRL NINJAS AND I AM ONE I’M LIVING PROOF.

And in the day there were totally normal people.

EXCEPT THEY HAD STUFF LIKE IRON SPIKES AND KATANAS AND STARS AND OTHER SMALL AWESOME OBJECTS UNDER THEIR CLOTHES ALL THE TIME JUST LIKE ME BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST THAT SUGIO DESU

Anyway.

Ninjas may still actually exist today. I mean pirates do too but those don’t count.

Now in this period, Japan also developed ORIGAMI.

which is impossible.

They also had big giant puppets.

Giant.

Puppets.

o(≧▽≦)o OMG I HOPE THEY HAD KAWAII NEKO ONES THATD BE SO SUGIO DESU!!!!

And kites. Big giant kites. Which is better and less scary than big giant puppets.

AND THEY ALSO HAD LITERATURE.

There was a poet. Named Matsuo Basho. AND HE WROTE HAIKUS.

Some Haikus make sense. This one does not make any sense. Refridgerator.

BUT.

BASICALLY JAPAN HAD IT’S OWN CHIBI KAWAII RENNIASANCE DESU.

SO WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED HERE?

1: I SPEND TOO MUCH TIME AROUND WEEABOOS, EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT ONE MYSELF I PROMISE (☉‿☉✿)

2: ISOLATION IS A GOOD THING.

3: I AM NOT A POET.

4: I AM ALSO REALLY REALLY BAD AT ENDINGS.

and also if this offends any japanese or otaku or weeaboo or whatever the heck you call yourself uhm sorry no offence?

Actually yeah i really meant to offend weeaboos and otaku is kinda derogatory anyway so uhm. yeah.~END OWARI.~

Thursday, June 14, 2012

SUPER AWESOME TITLE BRO UHM IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M REFERENCING HERE YOU GET ALLLLLLLL THE BROWNIE POINTS. ALL OF THEM.

YOU GUYS.

YOUGUYSYOUGUYSYOUGUYSYOUGUYS.

GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

Your name is WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. You have many interests, which include POETRY, ACTING, and THE VARIOUS PERFORMING ARTS.

And if you think I’m about to start that narrative style you are dead wrong. Because I can’t do it right or for extended periods to save my life. And if you don’t know what it is then it doesn’t even make any sense.

ANYWAYS.

William Shakespeare was a dropout.

Fo realz.

He dropped out of school and got married at 18 to Anne Hathaway.

But not that Anne Hathaway.

AND THEN SHE GOT PREGGERZ.

With twins. By the way, she was 26.

And then William got arrested.

WHAT IS THIS. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE PROCEEDED TO LEAVE HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN TO MOVE TO LONDON.

Let’s get this straight. William Shakespeare dropped out of school, got some chick preggos, got arrested, left them, and moved away to start acting and writing.

ha ha ha wat.

He made a great deal of moneyz by investing in the theater. Er, a theater. The Globe Theater. Which he helped build. And it’s in London.

BUT THERE’S MORE TO IT THAN THAT.

Some people don’t think that who I just told you was actually THE William Shakespeare.

ha ha ha wat.

Apparently, this guy was not ACTUALLY the William Shakespeare. This guy here was just PRETENDING to be William Shakespeare. The fo realz William Shakespeare went up and was like “hay you take this and and tell people you wrote it ok.”

Because it doesn’t really sound like he’s capable of.

You know.

Writing that stuff.

SO IF IT WASN’T HIM, THEN WHO WAS IT?

And WHOEVER wrote it, why would they choose him? I mean.

Like.

Look at him.

Anyway. Some people think it was Francis Bacon. Which would be kinda weird because he was a really busy guy.

BUT WAIT.

Your name is CHISTOPHER MA

THIS IS STUPID.

This guy. Christopher Marlowe. He could have been a spy. He WAS a spy. He was killed, but he was actually under some sort of weird witness protection program of the 16th century that i would know absoltuely nothing about why are you asking me about this ha ha ha let’s move on.

But before he got into the spy buzznuzz, he was in the play buzznuzz. Even though that’s contradictory.

BUT HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

Your name is EDWARD DE VERE. You are the EARL OF OXFORD, and you are an ACCOMPLISHED GENTLEMAN, due to being the COURTIER of QUEEN ELIZABETH. Your interests include WRITING PLAYS IN SE

ok this has to stop right now.

This guy wrote plays in secret. Because the theater was like.

That place.

You know.

That... That place. Where all those weird people hang out.

But Edward liked to write, but Elizabeth was like “ew.” So he could have used a ghost writer OTHERWISE KNOWN AS WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE (that was not be using the aforementioned form of narration. That was me using caps for emphasis.) instead of publishing under his own name.

Plus, William was an actor over there anyways. So he just kinda GOT PAID TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT.

Now I don’t know about you, but that sounds like the way to do things.

HOWEVER. Some people don’t believe this theory. Some think that William Shakespeare was William Shakespeare.

Also, he might have been a woman.

ANYWAY. THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT.

But what about the actual, uhh, plays?

There were three kinds. Historical, Comedy, and Tragedy.

The Historical plays were on a few Henries and some Johns (heh.) and Richard and some Julius Caesar. Of couse, all of these were added to for more drama and stuff. Because seriously.

Who wants to just watch history?

ANYWAY. COMEDIES WERE GOOD TOO. Because they were funny. I mean, they had some underlying themes too. Because it was William Shakespeare.

And then there were the tragedies.

ONE OF THEM IS ROMEO AND JULEIT. PLEASE SKIP THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THE RANT OF ANGER AND ANNOYANCE.

ROMEO AND JULIET IS A LOVE STORY. YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND DO NOT NEED TO REFER TO EACH OTHER OR YOUR LOVE AS SIMILAR TO ROMEO AND/OR JULIET. THEIR “LOVE” LASTED, IF I AM NOT MISTAKEN, THREE DAYS. IT CAUSED FIVE MURDERS. IT ENDED WITH TWO SUICIDES. BOTH OF WHICH WERE ROMEO AND JULIET’S. THERE’S A REASON IT WAS A “FORBIDDEN LOVE.” YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IT WOULD LEAVE TO MULTIPLE MURDERS AND SUICIDE. TWO LITTLE TEENAGERS AND MOST OF THEIR FAMILY DIED DUE TO THEIR PURE STUPIDITY AND “LOVE”. YES, IT IS SAD. YES, IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE SAD. AND NO, UNLESS YOU WOULD MURDER FIVE PEOPLE AND COMMIT SUICIDE, YOU/YOUR BOYFRIEND/YOUR LOVE IS NOT LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET.

Continue reading here.

There were some tragedies. Insanity, death, “forbidden love”, etc. etc. bluh bluh bluh.

SO. Between writing writing THIRTY MONKEYING SEVEN plays, he wrote ONE MONKEYING HUNDRED AND FIFTY MONKEYING FOUR poems. Which were actually sonnets but whatever.

AND BASICALLY HE WAS SNOOP DAWGG. OR DOGG. OR WHAT THE MONKEY EVER.

Because he made up words and kinda changed words around so they’d rhyme. He made up:

Barefaced. Bumps. Fitful. Fretful. Fo shizze Frugal. Gloomy. Gnarled. Hurry. Puke. Recall. Spurring. Suspicious.

HE DOTH PUKE WHEN THE DUKE I’M NOT A POET I CAN’T FINISH THIS.

So we like use all of these words.

AND OH MAN HE USED PUNS.

He also coined “Dead as a doornail.” and all sorts of other things.

NOW.

Some of you aren’t old enough to read Shakespeare. Language is weird. Some parts aren’t really “good.” Plots are complicated (heh.) Stuff is wacky.

BUT NOW I HAVE TO GO READ IT. So I might or might not post some sort of summary on Much Ado About Nothing.

Please pray that I don’t die in the process.

Note: Uhm some stuff went down where everyone agreed that Much Ado About Nothing is seriously impossible forget everything derp none of the ados none of them.

Monday, June 11, 2012

IDK MAN JUST PLEASE IGNORE ME THNXBAI DUNNO WHAT IM DOING LOL

So basically this guy was kinda boring, apparently.

He was a writer, but he didn’t really.

You know.

Do anything?

I mean, he wrote a lot and he was kinda controversial, but I don’t think he ever actually.

You know.

Got in trouble?

But anyway.

MICHAEL MONTAINGE.

He was born in France. And he had a weird family. His dad was Roman Catholic, his mom a Spanish Jew Protestant, and his siblings were Catholics.

wat.

ANYWAYS. His Dad sent him away when he was 3 to live with a poor family (?). He was brought back to his family later and was taught Latin (?) Nobody was allowed to speak anything but Latin to him (?) even though French was his first language (?)

lolwut

Basically, he learned Latin and pretty much ALL SORTS OF AWESOME STUFF without ever touching a book.

Well he probably did touch a book but whatever. But eventually he was kinda shipped off to boarding school to study law, but basically he got board so he left.

So eventually he started writing. He sat up inside his little castle and he wrote. A lot. For 10 years.

wat.

He wrote essays. He basically started the whole personal Essay thing. And before that, there were none. None of the personal essays. BLAME HIM FOR EVERYTHING GUYS.

Also basically he was kinda selfish and self absorbed. Which was kinda expected because he LOCKED HIMSELF IN A TOWER FOR 10 YEARS RIGHT AFTER HIS BFFSIE 4EVARS DIED.

Also basically he broke the 4th wall a lot. Like, there was no 4th wall. It was broken. No more 4th wall. Or I guess you could also say he just used 1st person kinda like I do but whatever oh well close enough right and run on sentence ramblerambleramble you’ve stopped reading anyway.

BUT.

He was also pretty skeptical. And if you don’t know what that means go google it or something. Mom told me to tell you what it is. But you should know and I don’t feel like telling you. SO GO. Or stay if you know what the monkey I’m talking about.

ANYWAY. Mich was actually a part of this philosophical movement called The Skeptics.

Who questioned EVERYTHING. I don’t know. Are you reading this? I don’t know. Or are you just staring at this screen? Will you reread that sentence? Are you actually even there? I DUNNO. I DON’T THINK SO MAN. I DON’T THINK THAT’S RIGHT.

but.

He didn’t really think love had much to do with marriage. So he married practically. He was skeptical about education. And he was skeptical about religion.

AND THEN THE AGE OF REASON.

Anyway.

So he went around and traveled a little. Then someone made him mayor of Bordeaux. So he had to go home and he helped some people out.

AND THEN THE PLAGUE HAPPENED!

Yayyyy!

He kinda died. Which was coming. Because the plague.

So.

Uh.

Yeah. The end? Not much else. Because he. You know. Died. /awkward