Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Real Story of America's Discovery

Awh dood ok so this got me rully mad :C So you know how what’s-his-face discovered America? WELL IT WASN’T HIM FIRST. IT WAS THIS VIKING DOOD. And it happened about 500 years BEFORE Columbus. SO SAD D:
So anyways we know that Leif was Eric’s, erm, son. So he was different than his daddeh. He was nice c: And he had a nickname! Leif the Lucky. And so Leif wanted to meet the king. I’ll name him Olaf. Actually, that’s his real name, SO HAPPY :D
And Olaf would be a good boyfrand. HE WAS TOUGH VIKING YAH. but he was sweet nice guy c: And he was a Christian! And I think he was good looking. He was tall, so. Anyways, so eventually, Leif decided to go to Olaf. And they got to meet and it was nice. And then Leif became a Christian. SO HAPPY :D
But so Leif took the Christianness back to Greenland. Nobody knows if he started any churchadurps though. But his mommy was the next Christian vikin c: And a buncha people started getting Christian. But his daddy didn’t like itttt~ So Eric was bein’ all stubborn :c And then Mommy made a churchadurp. But poor Eric never was a Christian. SO SAD D:
So there was this crazy old coot like you need in every town. And he said that while he was traveling he saw a woods. And so Leif wanted to go find it really badddd. So he dragged his dad along, who really didn’t want to go. But before they got to the boat, his dad fell off his horse. He said it was a BAD OMEN THE GODS SENT RAH RAH RAH so he didn’t go. But Leif and 35 other doods went on the boat and sailed off.
But Ericsson and party got to an island. They were really sad because they didn’t see any woods :c But it was probably around Canada that Leif found. It was really rocky and fail. He named it Helluland. JEE LEIF, YOU’RE SO NICE. And then he found another land place. IT was more promising, and he landed on the shore of north Canada. It was really cold and there were bears and a few trees. So he left and kept sailing south. And he found Newfoundland Canada. Ay c: SO HAPPY :D
But he didn’t stay long. But he stayed long enough to get credit, and he named it Vinland. There were grapes and trees and grass and fish and grapes and grapes. That’s probably why he named it Vinland. And there wasn’t a permafrost. SO HAPPY :D
And everything was great in Canada and all, but he liked his home. So he went back with all these awesome stories, but Leif never made Canada his home. So sad D:
But so there was a group of 60 men. And 5 women. WHUT. Ok but so there was a couple that had a baby and his name was Snorry. Pronounced Snore-ee. I wonder if he snored. But so he was probably the first white baby to be bon in north America. SO HAPPY :D
But there was sum trouble with the natives. No duh. Vikings + anything normally doesn’t turn out well. But so the vikings left, and they only went back to get woods. And on another note, Leif’s sister was crazy. I can’t type the whole story here but she scared natives and kiled a whole ship of men. SO SAD D:
And then 400 years LATER Columbus came along and discovered America. And took all the credit. And then he went to Iceland to study vikings, and he took all the credit for being first white

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