St. Boniface

So when he was a bitty boy, he wanted to be a Monk. So when he got older, there he was a missionary. So it was funny because the dood he was preachin' to was named Radbod. I hope he had a rad bod. But whatevs. Radbod didn’t want to be a Christian.
So Winfred went somewhere else and he saw some guys hangin’ out at this big oak tree and they were worshiping it. Epic fail. He said that he was gonna win over them. And he saw some pagans about to sacrifice a prince at the tree. So Winfred saw them and he saved the boy and he cut down the big big big tree.
So the pagans were like “whatisthisidonteven” so Winfred went over to a little tree and said “THIS TREE IS LIKE GOD BECAUSE IT’S EPIC AND ALWAYS GREEN.” and then we went and got the wood from the oak tree to build a church. Buuurrnnn :D
So Winfred played a game to explain God. And he did a buncha good stuff. So he went back somewhere in 723 and a monk named him Boniface. I bet he liked having a guy name.
So he wanted to be an archbishop. He was already a bishop I think, and for 30 years Boniface teached the Germans about Christianity and stuff. Clapclapclapclap.
So his last mission when he was an old geezer was to go back to his hometown. About 50 other monks and nuns went with him.
So on June 5th he was in a river and they got attacked. He didn’t fight back because he was good. And Boniface died. I’m gonna go cry now because it is so sad D: Baibaibai!