Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives I WILL SMASH IT WITH MAH HAMMAR }:DDDEr, Charles Martel’s grandson. Same thing. So Charles' son Pepin the Short (Pippin the Hobbit. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! So here be the story. We’re gonna talk ‘bout Pepin first ‘dough.
Pepin was not officially king. But he did all the stuff. They called him the mayor, but he had all the power and respect. So he went to Mr. P-to-da-ope and talked to him and Mr. P-to-da-ope crowned him in 751. EPIC WIN!
So Pepin started the line of the Carolingians. Not Christmas Caroling, the Carolingians. But Pepin gave Mr. P-to-da-ope a buncha land, called the Papal states. Reallll important here because it was kinda like a church-country. I’mma call it Churchtopia. Epic win!
Soooo Charlemagne inherited Pepin’s kingdom when he died. Someone told me Charley was good lookin’. I hope he was. He was real tall and he had blond hair. Good ‘nuff for me, yeah? He was said to be a reallll awesome ruler. But apparently he didn’t learn to read or write for a while. And that isn’t cool. But soon he learned it and really liked it so he made a new alphabet and they liked it. He made himself a student at his own palace. He really liked school, yeah? Yeah.
So Byzantine was right over thar next to France/Germany. So Charley proposed to the queen for political reasons. But she turned him down. I don’t know why though, he was supposed to be good looking... Epic fail!
But Charley was ruthless when it came to Christianity. He killed anybody who wasn’t a Christian. He was really strict with all those rules. It wasn’t good. No no no, not at all. But he didn’t even follow some of the rules himself .-. He had FOUR wives, a buncha girlfriends and maids, most of which had some of his kids. Epic fail!
Charley died later at the age of 72, and the kingdom was divided between 3 of his sons. Then afterwaaaards by 29 years his grandsons got three bits of it.
And if you're ever on Jeopardy like me, it was at the Treaty of Verden.
Ok so I don’t know how to end this so I will leave you with a picture of... erm... THIS: