*A girl in a tuxedo and monocle walk on stage. The room is crowded, with plush velvet theater-style seats that aren't comfortable, but not too hard. The girl walks across the stage to the microphone siting all alone in the front and center. She straightens her tie, removes her monocle (no matter how cool it is.) and says loudly "Hello!" and causes the microphone to squeak violently. Jumping back, she fixes the microphone, straightens her tie again, and says more quietly the following.*
Hello, people of the internet! Welcome to my corner of this giant web of insanity. Now don't you think that my corner is no less insane. Well, it's not too bad, I've definitely seen worse. But anyways, you're here. The title and background tell you something, yeah? Yeah. This is going to be educational.
No no, don't worry! This is going to be fun. This is my take on history, so I will assure you it will be interesting. All of it is going to be accurate, but it will be, well... worded differently. A different take on history, if you will. But if you don't share my sense of humor, well, you might not find it as funny.
Oh, don't worry. Not my dry and sarcastic humor. That doesn't do so well here. Internet humor, along with many references to things that might not be as historical. Disney's Aladdin, The Emperor's New Groove, Monty Python, Douglas Adams, you name it.
*clapping, the mood begins to lighten.*
So please, come one, come all, and hear my tales of the olden days! When the internet didn't exist, people weren't too lame and boring after all. Well, they aren't lame and boring after we add our side of the story. So come back here every Monday evening for tale of insanity, randomness, internet humor, and cupcakes.
*The girl walks to the back of the stage, replaces her monocle, and whips a book and a netbook out of her jacket flaps. She flips open the netbook and begins surfing the web. Confused, people begin to leave the theater. You assume you should do the same. So standing from the theater style seat, you leave through the glass doors and take one last look at the girl, who had switched to her book. You think you'l come back, just to see what's in store.*