WITTY TITLE YEP

SO BASICALLY WE’VE COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY LEFT AUSTRALIA OUT OF EVERYTHING.

Because I don’t know why.

WELL NOW I DO. BECAUSE IT TOOK THEM UNTIL 1605 TO FIND IT.

This guy was named Willem. It’s like William. But it’s not. Willem Janszoon. Which is so much fun to say.

BUT SO.

Willem was the guy who found Australia. He was probably born in the Netherlands, and he decided he’d take a little trip over to the East Indies. And when he got there, he was told to keep going East to New Geneau. Gengue. Genua. Whatever.

FOR GOLD.

Which he never found.

BUT INSTEAD HE FOUND AUSTRALIA.

He hit New Genuea, and then he just kinda turned his ship around to go to Australia.

Why?

I don’t know.

BUT HE WAS THE FIRST KNOWN EUROPEAN TO STEP FOOT ON THE CONTINENT.

But then he left because it was scary and the people were mean.

SO NOW WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT STRAIGHT UP AUSTRALIA. NOT A PERSON. NOT A RULER. THE CONTINENT COUNTRY THING.

It is the 6th largest country, and the outback is 2/3rds part of that.

AND THE OUTBACK HAS A ROCK. A BIG GIANT ONE. A 1,042 FOOT HIGH ROCK.

tadaa~

To the EAST there are SNOWY MOUNTAINS.
To the WEST there are BEAUTIFUL BEACHES.

ok we are not starting with that again

BUT.

KANGAROOS.

And other marsupials. They’re like. Bird Mammal things when it comes to babies.

KANGAROOS. KOALAS. WOMBATS. WALLABEES. BANDACOOTS.

AND PLATYPUSES.

AND ECHIDNAS.

Now real quick.

Hang on.

ECHIDNAS ARE MAMMALS. ECHIDNAS LAY EGGS. PLATYPUSES ALSO LAY EGGS.

PLATYPUSES ARE NOT THE ONLY MAMMALS TO LAY EGGS.

/cough

moving on.

WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE?

Aborigines!

They were like Australia’s Indian’s. They had some weird religion shtuffs, which I’m not going in to because it scares me.

ALSO!

They didn’t really fight much. Which is a good thing.

And they ate bugs. Which is kinda disgusting but whatever floats your boat. Or lack thereof considering there’s like NO WATER ANYWHERE in Australia. And they made Boomerangs and all that good stuff. AND DIDGERIDOOS.

A video of which I will post when I find one.

AND SUDDENLY EUROPEANS.

AND WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED WHEN THEY SHOWED UP?

BAD STUFF.

Basically everyone got mad at each other and started killing people and getting sick and bluh bluh.

And basically they all died except for like some.

And now only 2 or 3% of the population is Aboriginal. Which is sad.

SO THIS POST IS GOING TO END IN AN AWKWARD, ABRUPT MANNER.

JUST.

LIKE.

UH,,,

THIS.