Monday, June 25, 2012

THIS POST IS KINDA DERP BUT STILL

So basically Spain is outta the race. Was outta the race. Bluh bluh whatever. Because basically England beat the stink outta Spain.

AND OH MY WORD.

DON QUIXOTE.

OK SO YOU GUYS MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF IT BUT OH MAN.

It was a book.

And basically he’s insane. And it’s beautiful. Not really. It’s hilarious though. Go read it. Right now.

AND WHO WROTE THIS BOOK?

This guy. His name was Miguel Cervantas. Cer.... vantas.... carvantas... k-

ok nevermind we’re not going down that road again.

BUT ANYWAYS. He wasn’t really one a dem lerned people. Just a soldier against the Turks for five years. And in the battle of Lepanto, he got a big giant gash on his left hand. And basically he and his bro got kidnapped. And sold as slaves. And it just so happened that Miguel had some ~important letters~ and the pirates thought he was one of those really important people. So his mom and sisters started selling ALL the things to get money, but it took 5 years to get enough for the ransom to free him.

dude.

SO.

HE GOT OUT OF SLAVERY. THAT’S NICE.

And he started writing! I mean, he had a few poems published but nothing big. And then he wrote a romance novel for his girlfriend? It wasn’t very popular with anyone but her, but they got married. That’s sweet. And then the girl adopted one of his illegitimate kids?

wat.

ok but so.

He was kinda unlucky with his writing. For about 25 years. starving hipster artist person.

So he was working for the Spanish Armada for a little. And then it got sunk. So he was outta work.

And then he went to jail!

Because he was so in debbbbt.

AND THEN HE WROTE THIS LITTLE THINGY.

OR BIG THINGY.

IT’S ACTUALLY A REALLY LONG BOOK.

But what was it ABOUT.

IT'S ABOUT DON QUIXOTE.

Don is pretty insane. He was also obsessed with knights. He was like.

A scary geeknerdu who thinks everything is real no matter what AND THAT HE IS A KNIGHT AND EVERYONE IS A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS.

So he got his hands on some armour?

And he wore it. And walked around. And he had a lance. And basically everyone was pretty scared of him because he eventually starts attacking innocent bystanders. He got himself a squire somehow. And basically his “squire” was a practical realist.

how did this even happen.

ANYWAY.

Miguel published the first half of the book. It was good.

AND THEN HE WAITED.

HE WAITED A LONGGG TIME FOR THE SECOND HALF.

He waited 10 monkeying years to publish the second half.

oh my word ok that's a long time how does 10 years feel waiting for an update wow

10 years.

OK.

Now. I’ll stop the pointless wallowing in confusion.

But basically this has no point at all besides I’m obligated to do this post apparently?

also read this book.

read it.

get a translation though. because it’s impossible unless you speak old.

so yeah awkward post ahahaha /casuallyends

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