BECAUSE JAPAN MAKES MY KOKORO GO DOKI DOKI DOKI DESU X333
erwait.
wait.
hang on.
what was that.
NO.
no way.
Japan kinda blocked off everyone from the everything.
Meaning they became isolationists. like, they closed off the entire country from the rest of the world.
JUSTLIKEHOMESCHOOLERS
wait, what was that?
I think it was the wind.
ANYWAYS SO I GUESS JAPAN WAS KINDA DANDERE FOR A LITTLE BIT TOTALLY NOT SUGOI GUYS (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻
and that is really really important. Because they didn’t have a Protestant Reformation like EVERYONE ELSE. Because they didn’t know. Because bluh.
BUT WHAT WENT ON WITH JAPAN BEFORE THIS?!?!??!!?!1?
Who remembers who inhabitied Japan in the ancient times?
Ok good because I sure don’t.
THE AINU.
i nu that.
BA DUM TSS.
Then the first emperor!
Then the Yamato clan took over!
Then there was a big war. Until Prince Shotoku kinda took over and he kinda fixed some stuff.
And then Shoguns and Samurai. There was an emperor but he didn’t realy do anything. He just kinda was there. He didn’t do anything.
LOL BAKA GAIJIN ¬_¬
But so now we’re after that part.
WHY DID THEY STOP THE EVERYTHING THOUGH?
Because there was this guy. Named Tokugawa. Well he was actually Ieyasu. His name was Tokugawa Ieyasu, but it was like a regular name but flipped around. So his last name was actually Tokugawa but it came first.
PERFECT SENSE DESU THATS TOTEMO KAWAII I UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I LIKE TO PRETEND I'M JAPANESE WHEN I'M ACTUALLY AMERICAN BUT SHHHH DON'T TELL ANYONE XDDD
But this little kawai desu suteki moe shota lolli boy man girl child lived his life in captivity.
No man I’m serious this is like the saddest story everr ಥnಥ
He was in captivity until he was 15. Like, from 6 to 15. THAT’S LIKE FOREVERR.
Anyway he pretty much took over Japan. tee hee omg yandere bishies make my kokoro go doki doki no lie you guys (☉‿☉✿)
AND HE GOT TO BE A SHOGUN!
But he was 60. And he was nasty and old. And nobody really liked him but they respected him. And he sloooowlyyyy kinda cloooosed the couuuntryyy. Because he was afraid of westerners, apparently.
herpderpderp.
He was also scared that their class system would unravel.
andloosinghispowerbuthekindahidthatpart.
AND THEN HE MADE IT ILLEGAL TO MAKE IT CHRISTIAN IN JAPAN.
And what happens when you’re a Christian and it’s illegal?
YOU DIE.
THAT’S WHAT.
And a lot did die. And some where just shooshed. And the spread of Christianity was stopped. Only one port was open to outside traders, but then it got closed. And then they banned books from the outside.
THE HECK.
Basically, the islands started kinda competing against each other to be better. Not like war stuffs, but like “WE HAVE TO BETTER ANIMUUUU” “NO WE HAVE THE BETTER.” “NO WE DO.” “NO NO NO” and basically there was a really big middle class because no more export no more import. Economy awesome. Everyone is happy. And do you know what happens when everyone is happy, has money, and they get bigger and better stuff?
THEY HAVE BABY.
they all have baby.
the baby triple the population.
the baby crowded the population.
the population cannot feed the baby.
ALL OF THE RICE. ALL OF IT. And what do you need for rice? FARMERS. And even though they were poor, they were second to nobility.
ha ha ha wat.
WELL LET’S SAY YOU KNOW YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE COUNTRY. However, you are rice dirt poor. YOU’RE GONNA WANT SOME MORE MONEY, WILL YOU NOT?
Anyway, so basically the working class was frowned upon, which is really sad because they were the majority.
IN OTHER NEWS, THIS WAS ALSO KINDA A GOLDEN AGE.
kinda i guess.
NINJAS.
NINJAS.
NINNNNJASSS.
NINJAS ARE THE BEST THEY ARE BETTER THAN PIRATES AND WE WIN U BAKA GAIJIN OK WE ARE SO MUCH BETTER AND NINJAS RULE AND PIRATES STINK NO SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS NEED TO TAKE A BATH
They were hired to do ninjas stuff. like spy and fight and assassinate stuff.
AND YES THERE WERE GIRL NINJAS AND I AM ONE I’M LIVING PROOF.
And in the day there were totally normal people.
EXCEPT THEY HAD STUFF LIKE IRON SPIKES AND KATANAS AND STARS AND OTHER SMALL AWESOME OBJECTS UNDER THEIR CLOTHES ALL THE TIME JUST LIKE ME BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST THAT SUGIO DESU
Anyway.
Ninjas may still actually exist today. I mean pirates do too but those don’t count.
Now in this period, Japan also developed ORIGAMI.
which is impossible.
They also had big giant puppets.
Giant.
Puppets.
o(≧▽≦)o OMG I HOPE THEY HAD KAWAII NEKO ONES THATD BE SO SUGIO DESU!!!!
And kites. Big giant kites. Which is better and less scary than big giant puppets.
AND THEY ALSO HAD LITERATURE.
There was a poet. Named Matsuo Basho. AND HE WROTE HAIKUS.
Some Haikus make sense. This one does not make any sense. Refridgerator.
BUT.
BASICALLY JAPAN HAD IT’S OWN CHIBI KAWAII RENNIASANCE DESU.
SO WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED HERE?
1: I SPEND TOO MUCH TIME AROUND WEEABOOS, EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT ONE MYSELF I PROMISE (☉‿☉✿)
2: ISOLATION IS A GOOD THING.
3: I AM NOT A POET.
4: I AM ALSO REALLY REALLY BAD AT ENDINGS.
and also if this offends any japanese or otaku or weeaboo or whatever the heck you call yourself uhm sorry no offence?
Actually yeah i really meant to offend weeaboos and otaku is kinda derogatory anyway so uhm. yeah.~END OWARI.~
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