So the Spanish pretty much hated this guy. But the English were like “YESS.”
And his name was Sir Francis Drake. AND HE SAILED AROUND THE WORLD, JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
But he liked to steal stuff from Spanish ships. So he was a pirate. Who traveled around the world. And this was kinda a secret plot from Elizabeth and she made him do it.
SO JUST WHO WAS THIS GUY?
He’s Sir Francis Drake! He was born in wosrtistshireshireistchshire with 12 other kids. He got his first gig at 13 and they sailed around for a good 7 years until the captain died, so he was kinda given captainship and he took them back. Then he got another job and they sailed around the Caribbean and the Indies and cuiseship. And he wasn’t really interested in exploring on this little expedition, he was just like “MONEYZ!11!” so he took ALL THE MONEY.
But it turned out that the silver he took from them wasn’t really the Spanish’s either. Because they were kinda jacking it from the Indians’ silver mines. derpderpderp.
And Elizabeth wanted that silver mine. She really wanted it. So she was like “FRANCIS GO GET ME SOME SILVER.” so he was like “OK” This was an unofficial commission, because if they got in trouble Elizabeth was not going to help them. Because that’d look really bad. Anyway, he basically went through this town and basically got all the stuff and he had to leave behind some silver and gold because that had too much. And then he went back to England and got rewarded for being a horrible thieving pirate.
Then she signed a treaty with Spain so she couldn’t acknowledge Francis’s awesomeness.
Five years later he just kinda circumnavigated the world like it was nobody’s buzznuzz. BUT WHY?
So the crew kinda thought they were going to Africa to trade. That was a lie. They were going to Brazil...?
So was he just gonna circle the world fo realz or was it an accident or what? Well nobody really knew. He was just sorta there to steal more silver. More or less.
Nobody knew what was going on. Well, except for Francis. Sorta. Maybe. I guess?
ANYWAY. THERE WERE TWO OTHER CAPTIANS. WE ARE GOING TO MAKE AN EDUMACATED GUESS THAT THERE WERE THREE SHIPS BECAUSE THERE WERE THREE CAPTAINS.
Anyway. Francis’s ship got broke in a storm and they had to get rid of the flagpole mast thing. So everyone just kinda went home. And on take two, the fleet left with 6 ships and 164 people. So I lied. There were 6 ships, not three. They followed Magellan's route and after 8 months three out of 6 ships were gone, and so they kinda jacked Mag’s old strait.
AND THEN SOMETHING TOTALLY UNEXPECTED HAPPENED.
A storm came by and ate a ship. Two were left. The other got scared and left. The other just kinda got blew over on to an island. And then it sailed up the west coast of South America and just kinda RAIDED ALL THE SETTLEMENTS. And he also RAIDED ALL THE SHIPS. And he GOT ALL THE MAPS. ALL THE THINGS.
And then he just kinda sailed into a comfy little harbour. It was probably in Canada, or it was just really really cold and icey, because it was in the middle of.. uhh.... July?
This affected a lot of people because England and Spain were all fighting for the general America continent. Basically it got all tense and some srs buzznuzz started goin down. The harbour was claimed for England with a little brass plate made by Francis. And in 1930, it was found!
lol no not really it was a fake.
SO ANYWAY, THEY LEFT.
In a few months they made it back to England. It had been 3 years and he asked if Elizabeth was alive. And she was. Which is good. Becuase that means he would GET ALL THE MONEY.
He got knighted on his ship and then he died a few years later. Like most people do. Well not the knighting part, but the dying part. Because he never found that fountain of youth. ANYWAY.
They kinda just put him in a lead casket and sunk him in the ocean. Some people argue that he should be brought up.
Which would be kind of disgusting. I mean, he’s been dead underwater in a lead casket for 500 years. I don’t think he’d look or smell that nice. I guess there’s no harm in it, but still.
MY OPINION IS UNIMPORTANT. WAIT FOR THE NEXT POST.