Monday, August 8, 2011

TEH LITTLE BIRDIES.

Kay, so we got Thomas Aquinas. We got Marco Polo. We got Roger Bacon. A Philosopher, a merchant, and a scholar. All pretty awsum peeps, amirite?
Well let’s add one more awsum peep.


His name was Dante, and he was a poet. But he didn’t have a very easy childhood, because his muhmmy died when he was real little.
But when he was nayn...
He met a girl :3
A pretty little girl.
So apparently they got separated or something. But when he was 18 he met her again, and he loved her. YAY. For years, Dante wrote about love for her and all that nice stuff.
But then Beatrice, the girl, went off and got married to someone else.
D’AWW D:
But then she died.
D’AWW D:
She was only 24.
He still wrote about his love for her, but he didn’t use her name. He wrote about her entrance into heaven, which I’m not going to put here because it’s really really long.
AND THEN HE MET ANOTHER GIRL.
Her name was Gemma. They got married and had had children. Awwh :3
Dante was also a bit of a scholar. He also liked philosophy, but he found politics more interesting. He believed that the emperor should have more power than the pope, and this caused him to be exiled from his home, Italy :c
Later in his life, he wrote his most known work, The Divine Comedy. He wrote it based off the number 3 because of the Trinity of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.



There are 3 parts, each having 33 cantos, which is the number of years Christ lived on earth. OHBOI U BETTER BELIEVE WE IN SOME DEEP STUFF.
Each canto had 3 lines, where every other line rhymes.
The actual content is basically a tour of the afterlife. Or at least how he believed the afterlife to be. The first part is called Dante’s Inferno, where he describes Hell in /gory/ detail. Yayyy~ :3 He went through nyan levels of a pit with a Roman poet named Virgil. Something kinda creepy is that he uses names of /real people/. He freely tells the world who he thinks will burn and is burning in the eternal flame that is Hell. WHAT A THOUGHTFUL GUY. He places the people of lesser evil in the “top” of Hell, and the ones of higher evil in the bottom middle heart-ish area. So now you get to know JUST HOW BAD Dante thinks you are! How wonderful!
Oh! He also wrote about seeing a few Popes down there! THE CHURCH MUST’A LOVED THAT.
The second part of the poem was called Purgatory. For those of you who don’t know, Purgatory is (supposedly) a place between Heaven and Hell where a Christian soul goes to have them cleansed of the sins that were still there. However, that is not Biblically sound. Now I don’t wanna go all theology in this lesson, but Christ died for all of our sins, not just some of them. Sooo you can’t really get your soul cleansed if it’s already clean, ya know? But you know what’s really funny? What’s really funny? Going up to these people who are all “OH C. S. LEWIS WAS SUCH A GOOD CHRISTIAN MAN AND AL THAT JAZZ AND HE WAS SUCH A STRONG CHIRSTIAN AND HE WAS SO GREAT AND-” “Hey, you know something about C. S. Lewis?” “YA WHAT?” “HE USED TO BE A SUPER-ATHEIST AND BELIEVED IN PURGATORY AFTER HE BECAME A CHRISTIAN.” “...”
I know, it’s mean, but sometimes it can be funny.


So like in Hell, there are nyan levels. He starts at the bottom and has to work his way to the top. This also is not Biblically sound, because one is saved by faith, not works.
The third part of his poem was called Paradisio, or paradise. This was Dante’s idea of Heaven, and guess who led him through Heaven? Beatrice :3 AWWW :D
So she led him through, you guessed it, nyan levels of heaven, each with increasing beauty and splendour and all that jayazz.
Soerm.
Anti-climatic amirite.

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