Thursday, March 29, 2012

I KNOW I'M SO GOOD AT TITLES LATELY BE JEALOUS.

Yo, guiz, this is so like totally awesome. This isn’t gonna be a depressing one~!

So this guy. Nicolaus Copernicus. He was Polish. Which means he’s like, instantly cool. And he was, like, the first to come up with the idea that the earth totally revolved around him the sun.

And he was TOTALLY right.

But so like we haven’t really talked about Poland a whole lot. But basically it had come out of a totally bad time of war and, like, junk. So they were seriously in a Golden Age, and this university opened which was, like, awesome.

So Nick went to this University. And he was in the church and he was like totally awesome. Well, he wasn’t AS awesome as the priest, but he was still like totally rad. But he like took a break and he went over to Italy for a little bit.

Nick was like totally into watching the nick sky and like stuff. And he was like lookin at the starts and stuff and he noticed that they like, totally moved differently than what he thought and it like reallly confused him and, like, stuff.

So Do you guys remember Ptolemy? He was like, totally smart. But he thought that the earth stood still and everything moved around it. But that was, like, wrong. Copernicus like totally jacked this other theory some other people had come up with.

He, like, thought that he the sun was, like, totally the center of the universe, and, like, the earth moved around on it’s axis.

But so like in 1522 he wrote this thing about his idea. And so like this was 5 years after Martin Luther was all up in duh Reformation. But so Nick was, like, a little shy because he knew that the big fish wouldn’t like his ideas.

And when the big fish didn’t like someone, the Inquisition got THEIR nose all up in the little fish’s buzznuzz and gurrrl. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS~!

Bonfire!

Now I dunno if Nick was wise or if he was just cowardly, but he didn’t really publish “his” shtuff right away because the Inquisition.

So Luther and Calvin were like “ok we can bond over out mutual hatred for this idea ok?” And they did.

So This kinda brough Nick’s spirits down since his, like, idols were hatin on him and his ideas. And so like so he wouldn’t be, like, totally roasted alive he went and studied medicine and economics and, like, stuff.

But he still loved to like, look at the sky and stuff. Totally.

Like, he, like, didn’t have telescopes either but he followed Mars in the sky.

Nick also had a brofriend. And so his frand was like, “Bro you NEED to publish your shtuff like totally” and so Nick was like old and shtuff and he was like “ok.”

But so Nick was pretty much dying when he book came out. And ohmigosh he was like going through the pages and he died.

And it was good that he died because the church was like “GURL NO YOU CAN’T DO THAT” And so was the Inquisition. And they also didn’t really understand it and it was condemned as heresy. And they like banned the book and hand it burned and ohmigosh. And ok so like maybe I lied in the beginning but it's too late because THIS POST IS OVER.

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