So let’s pause the Protestant Reformation and the Anabaptist buzznuzz and go over to Islam. ALL THE RELIGIONS.
We’re gonna hop over to India. North India, to be exact. Guess who had India under control.
Not the Turks! The Mughals are gonna get their 15 minutes of fame.
The North Indians were getting pushed around. They were done with their golden age loveliness, and they were getting bullied by the Huns, Persians, and the Mongols. Everybody loved India and they were all up in it’s buzzness. Even if India didn’t really want them, their belief systems, or all their junk, even though they were intent bringing it.
So the Hindus were getting all mixed with Islam. And the very very few Christians just kinda sat back and bit their tongues. Which means while HRE was whining and pouting about baptism and communion and Team Edward or Team Jacob, while India was derpin around with Hindu and Islam.
So this guy Babur. Which means Beaver or Tiger, depending on who you ask. No lie. 4srs.
ANYWAYS! His parents were interesting. His mother was a beaver and his father was a bear. His beavery mother was also a direct descendant of Genghis Khan, and his father was related to Tamerlane. Tamerlane was pretty much a brutal chief who killed a lot of people.
WHAT A LOVELY COUPLE.
Babur inherited a little Turkistanish kingdom. He was very religious, and was Islamic. He pretty much went back and forth between winning kingdoms and loosing kingdoms. Herpderp.
And then he pretty much lost his entire country.
Andddd then he wanted India.
So with only 12,000 men he went in to India. So this is gonna fail, riiight? Well the first battle was a success, because Babur was good at killing creepers and he had a LOT of gunpowder because of this. Which means he had GUNS. Which Notch needs to make.
So the other guys had Elephants. Elephants are big. And strong. And grey. Which means they don’t get hurt by guns very well. But Elephants are actually just ol’ scaryphants, so they ran away towards the army for which they were... Elephanting. Which means the ol’ scaryphants trampled everyone to get away from the big scary guns.
And Babur was pretty cocky by now, so he marched right in to the main city. Now normally when someone does this, they and all their men die.
India was having an epic fail moment and Babur set up the official Mughal Empire.
He pretty much jacked the name from the Mongols from where he came. But whatevhurr.
The Indias HATED this guy. But Babur wanted to be loved. HE WAS JUST MISUNDERSTOOD D:
He was actually a pretty nice guy. He wrote stories and kept a diary and gardened.
So he was a sissy boy, more or less.
And a few more years later, he died of disease. Derpderpderp.
That means his son gets to take over! Yay!
His son lost EVERYTHING. He lost the whole India. He ran back to his little Turkish kingdom, where he raised his son.
WHO WAS NAMED AKBAR.
Like Admiral Ackbar, but different.
Akbar actually means the Great, though, so hey.
“WHAT’S YOUR NAME?”
“THE GREAT. MY NAME IS THE GREAT.”
It’s like The Boss. But The Great.
So he pretty much just went back to India and did some battles and fought some war and got the India. Which was good, because he let them pretty much hang with the Hinduness and they liked him because of that. He married a Hindu princess, and all that. He held debates between different religions and was pretty open minded.
Buuut he was a bit too open minded. He never really settled on a faith, and he tried to mix ‘em all up and sell it as a high power energy drink, but it never caught on. Wonder why.
He didn’t force young children into marriage, took away the law that stated WIDOWS HAD TO COMMIT SUICIDE, he increased trade, and provided some better conditions. So he was Akbar the Akbar.
Oh, by the way, you guys know the Taj Mahal? Yeah. It was built by Akbar’s grandson. It’s a tomb in which he and his wife lay, and it was, oddly, facing AWAY from Mecca unlike most tombs and everything.
You see, when Shah (who was the grandson of Akbar) lost his favourite wife, he began a project to build her a tomb. A project which took 22 years. Why?
Because he imported marble, thousands of gems, and he also had to carve the marble. And it’s...
SYMMETRY IS WHAT MAKES THE WORLD BEAUTIFUL SYMMETRY IS KEY EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT I NEED SYMMETRYYY. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL EVEN THE SKY IS SYMMETRICAL.
So a lot of people think it’s a beautiful SYMMETRICAL~ piece of Indian architecture. I guess that’s right, but it looks like a mosque. It has Koran stuff inside. It’s art is all Muslim. It looks like a mosque, it smells like a mosque, it feels like a mosque, BUT IT’S NOT.
IT’S A TOMB.
A BEAUTIFULLY SYMMETRICAL TOMB.
However, the Taj Mahal is also a picture of the decline of the Mughal dynasty, because it was the last great thingy thing building monument thing that was built under their dynasty. After it was built, the dynasty began to crumble. MAYBE BECAUSE THEY SPENT ALL THEIR MONEY ON JEWELS AND IMPORTED MARBLE.
BUT IT WAS STILL...