Friday, September 2, 2011

OH LOOK IT'S A SIGN OF GOD'S DISFAVOR WITH YOU.

Sooo I’ve never heard of this guy. But aparently, he was rullll important :3 SO LET’S GET IT STAHTED.



.-.
John Wycliffe was called “The Morning Star of the Reformation” lolwut.
That’s pretty and all, but... Uhm... what?
A morning star is a really bright planet that you see around sunrise.
Well, that’s helpful. *cough*SARCASM*cough*
So let’s talk about the Reformation!
John grew up in England, went to that big ol’ school called Oxford, and he was really smart.
BUUUUUUT
John was a walking ball of controversy. People who didn’t like him were the members of the Medieval Church. Well, the Church in general wasn’t too fond of Johnnyboi. They didn’t like what he said about the Church and their practices. He complained that Mr. P-to-da-ope lived a life of luxuryyy. The Church owned about 1/3 of all the property in England. woahwut. AND THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO PAY TAXES. That’s like the Church owning all of Texas, Louisiana, Florida, and all they didn’t pay taxes in any of that. And they were FILTHEH RICH AND POWAHFU’.
So John didn’t like that. He also didn’t like the idea that the Church and Mr. P-to-da-ope could, get this, forgive sins.
No like. No likes.
He questioned the Church’s selling of Indulgances. waitwut.
GET THIS MAN.
AN INDULGENCE IS A LITTLE AUTOGRAPH THAT SAYS “YOU ARE FREE OF YO SINS MA BROTHAAA”
WUT.
WOAH.
THEY HAD TO BUY IT TOO.
Ok.
He also didn’t like how they worshipped Mary and the saints. He did not accept the way the Church did communion. Now communion is good and all, it’s nice, it is Biblical. That’s fine. BUT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH SAID THAT THE BREAD AND WINE WAS LITERALLY THE BLOOD AND BODY OF CHRIST. lolwut. And they said it was a REQUIREMENT of salvation.
But what bothered John the most was the way they handled the word of God. They did not only look at the Bible for reference, they looked at other books and they asked Mr. P-to-da-ope. Some beleived that man’s writing was necessary to understand the Bible, but not John.
To complicate matters, there weren’t too many Bibles. And the Bibles that were around were written in Latin, which nobody really read, much less spoke.
And here we be gettin’ fanceh. The King of England, Edward, liked John. He told John to go talk with Mr. P-to-da-ope. And John was over here runnin’ his mouth about the church and all that. So who likes John? NOT THE CHURCH! Yeah. So John, being the genius he was, decided to go have tea with the Pope. After they finished their conversation...
John lost his job and had all his writings burned.
lol.
Ironically, during another council to ban the rest of his works...
THERE WAS AN EARTHQUAKE.
fullofwin.
So John’s over here: “OH LOOK IT’S A SIGN OF GOD’S DISFAVOR WITH Y’ALL.”
So the Church is over here: “OH LOOK IT’S A SIGN OF GOD’S DISFAVOR WITH YOU.”
Yeah.
So You know what John did?
HE TRANSLATED THE BIBLE.
So now the Bible is in English. However, John Wycliffe was never able to finish the work. He died of a stroke before it was finished. So someone else took up the job and that went really well. The people who followed him were called Lollards. LOL....LARDS.
They didn’t wear the big fluffy shirts like the average dress was at the time. They didn’t use a printing press, and every copy of the Bible they handed out was hand-written.
And then the Lollards were executed.
D:
They would not work with the Church, so they were considered Heretics. 31 years AFTER John died, some genius of a Pope DUG UP JOHN’S BODY AND BURNED HIS BONES.
lolz.
So back to his nickname! “The Morning Star of the Reformation.” The problems our friend found were pretty big. So John wanted to Reform the Church. The other people who wanted to do this were called Protestants. This became a HUGGGE MOVEMENT. But that’s another lesson.
Sooo... Yeeeahh...
The end.

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