Thursday, July 14, 2011


Ooh, this’ll be a fun one.
There was this doodyman named Frederick, who shall be called Fred.
Fred ruled three separate countries. Because of this, there wasn’t really a solid reputation throughout his lands.
But why didn’t he ever have a solid reputation? Let’s find out.
He was the son of a Holy Roman emperor, and the Grandson of Frederic Barbarossa.
And Fred became emperor at the age of 2. At 4, he was king of Sicily. The next year, his mummeh died. Awh :c So Mr. P-to-da-ope Innocent (and I laaaugh.) was his guardian, educator, yadda yadda yadda. Well, Fred’s mummy thought that since Mr. P-to-da-ope, being a pope, was a trustworthy man. And his name was innocent, so that had to count for something. But Fred was pretty neglected. He had to beg sometimes, and he didn’t really go to school. But he was very smart. He knew a buncha languages, he could write 7 of them, he read a lot of history, and all that jayazz. When he turned twelve (Like mahself.) he kicked out the regent that ruled above him. He got married at 15 (Ehh. So much for childhood.).
Mr. P-to-da-ope Innocent started to get kinda scared. He lived in Italy, and Fred was in Germany. He owned Sicily, and so the next move would be Italy. Where Innocent lived. And Why is that a problem? Because, well, Innocent pretty much forgot about Fred in his childhood.
But there was a problem with Fred.
Why would there be a Problem with Fred? He was good lookin’, smart, strong, loved the arts, and all that stuff! Well, it all happened in 1215, when Fred was still a wittle boi. Innocent had a meeting, which made him, Mr. P-to-da-ope, the highest authority in the land.
And when Fred came of age, he was liek...
But Fred and Innocent pretty much kept peace, but aaafter Mr. P-to-da-ope Innocent died...

Mr. P-to-da-ope Greg (NOT THAT GREG. GREG THE 9TH.) and Fred had some problems.
You see, Fred led a Crusade. But it was really different from the others. Why? Because it had a truce and a marriage.

So now Fred was the king of Jerusalem because he married a princess.
He was great friends with a sultan who oversaw Jerusalem, and they just kinda made a truce.
Now you’d think Greg would be THRILLED that there wasn’t bloodshed.
Greg was MAD.
So Greg decided to, what else?
So Greg told EVERYONE that Fred was a Blasphemer, and so everyone HATED him. There wasn’t a bishop who would crown him, so Fred just crowned himself.
So what’s bad about Fred? A LOT IS BAD.
He had multiple wives (Maybe a few boyfrands. Or more than a few.) He wasn’t a strong Christian, he was actually a Muslim most likely, and he was a bit too defiant.
But so eventually Greg and Fred made a peace treaty. He worked on improving laws, wrote books, and all the good stuffz.
So then Greg died. Mr. N-to-da-ew P-to-da-ope didn’t really mind Fred. And then Fred died.
Whell then. That was sad and anti-climatic.

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