Monday, July 9, 2012

"CANADA IS FINE," THEY SAID. "THE WINTER ISN'T BAD," THEY SAID.

SO THIS GUY

Sam. Samuel de Champlian. And this other guy Henry. They went to this magical place BUT HOLD UP

You remember Jacques?

he didn’t really settle in canada.

BUT HE DID SOME TRADING.

and if you lived in Canada (or do live in Canada.) you’re going to want to be warm.

SO HE STARTED A FUR TRADE~!

and this attracted some people

ONE OF THESE PEOPLE BEING SAM.

Sam was probably the most mentally stable person we’re talked about this far.

no u get out

No actually he was a nice guy. And smart. And he wanted to settle in Canada.

K FORGET ABOUT THE WHOLE MENTALLY STABLE THING no i’m sorry

He went to this little place called QUEBEC and build some buildings and made a moat. Right about the same time Jamestown was being settled, too.

And only 9 people out of 23 survived the first winter.

WELP.

He tried to meet some of the neighbours.

BUUUUUUT basically because of some reasons he got a lot of people mad at each other whoops.

And one thing that was nice about this guy is that he tried to understand the native Canadians. But that didn’t really work out so he just MADE FRIENDS YAY.

And his country France still wanted to find out HOW TO GET TO ASIA. But they didn’t really know how big Canada was. And also how remote Canada was.

BUT CANADA HAD A BUNCH OF STUFF? which might have been just as valuable as spices. And that was right. And Sam was all exploring and had a nice fur trade going. Most of the fur was Beaver. YAY BEAVERS.

so he chilled out with these people called the Hurons who was pretty cool people i guess.

He also wrote some pretty cool stuff. He was a Protestant Christian and he wanted to convert the indians but I don’t really know how well that worked out??????///?/?

SO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW HE WAS FRENCH?

ENGLAND DOESN’T LIKE FRANCE lolyeshedoesishipit

/cough

ANYWAY

so England just casually sailed over there and took Quebec and took Sam and probably locked him up in the tower of london becAUSE WHERE ELSE.

So Sam is referred to as the Father of new France. which is the French-speaking part of Canada. Well that’s nice.

and then he died. In Canada.

NOW ENGLAND.

They had a Canadaslporer too! Henry. Henry Hudson.

HE MADE 4 JOURNEYS TO CANADA. COUNT THEM ONE TWO THREE FOUR.

The first two were sponsored by this merchant company. Because LET’S GET TO ASIA GUYS.

So he was NOT BEING PUSHED OFF THE ISLAND BY THE GOVERNMENT.

so this first journey.

1607 LOOK A DATE. He only had 10 men on his ship and he sailed off to... China.

They did not make it.

THEY JUST RAN INTO GREENLAND.

So they just went home.

JOURNEY 2.

and on this one he recorded seeing a MERMAID.

which is so legit guys

did you know you can buy your own mermaid tail.

pretty dang awesome am i right. you too can be a mermaid. You can just buy it and put it on and then go swim around in your pool or the ocean note you still can’t breathe underwater oh shoot

get ‘em custom fitted and everything.

and in like 12 colours and you can even buy hand fins like their gloves with webbing between the fingers and face fins which don't do anything but they're pretty and I’M SORRY WHAT AM I DOING BACK TO THE STORY

THIRD VOYAGE.

SO HE WAS SAILING THIS JOURNEY UNDER THE DUTCH EAST INDIAN COMPANY.

WHICH WAS BASICALLY THE NETHERLANDS.

WHICH WAS TREASON.

But henry was like NO SCREW EVERYTHING and did it anyway.

So he sailed from Amsterdam to the north pole??????

To get to China???????

whut.

So he was just like NO FORGET THIS so he went south and hit South Carolina? And then Chesapeake Bay. Then he went north AGAIN and went into the Hudson River! This led him to New York.

Anyway.

FOURTH. VOYAGE.

This ship was called the Discovery and was THE INTERESTING VOYAGE.

Because he was being sponsered by the English. Again. So he went sailing off and kinda nonchalantly went into the Hudson Strait and into the Hudson Bay whee. And his crew was like “Whut.”

because he didn’t have anything to give to the asians to. like. get into their country.

SO MAYBE HE WAS ON A SECRET MISSION?

because he might have been looking for a place to put a port or something. Because he verryyy carefullllyyyy went along the very edge of the shore. and that might have been ok with that if THEY HAD FOOD AND WATER AND WARMTH.

and Henry wouldn’t sail home. And he wouldn’t tell anyone what he was doing.

and then MUTINY.

Because of hopefully obvious reasons.

Now there are stories that say they they lived or something. But there was a rescue mission and nothing was found.

welp.

The crew was arrested when they got home the England.

ahahaha welp.

that was an odd way to end this.

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