So we’re going to add another to the list~!
IVAN THE GREAT OF RUSSIA.
Originally, he was named Ivan III.
He was born in Russia, but it wasn’t exactly a country yet. The Mongols were ruling Russia.
NO. THAT’S WRONG.
They were the Tatar Mongols.
They were feared. At the time, Batu Khan ruled over the Golden Hoard tribe. And thought the Russians were ruled by the Tatar Mongols, they had a prince. And his name was Ivan.
And he was not impressed with the Golden Hoard. He couldn’t care less. I mean, he was a Russian Prince. He didn’t really care. But he wanted to free Russia. Someone, someday, was going to revolt anyways.
So being that Ivan is called Ivan the Great, you might have figured out that he decided to get the revolt over with. The Mongols had been in Russia for over 240 years, so it was about time Russia got control again.
So Then Ivan freed Russia and everyone was happy the end~!
OK. Wait. Back up.
Back before Ivan freed Russia, something happened. He gained power. How does one go about doing that?
HE GOT MARRIED.
Do you think he just went out and picked up a lady?
He married a VERY important person. Her name was Sophia, and she was the niece of the last Byzantine Emperor.
LET’S BACK UP SOME MORE.
So The Byzantine Empire. Middle Ages. The Byzantine Empire was actually the Easter Roman Empire, but that was cumbersome to write. So they called it the Byzantine Empire.
And the Byzantine Empire had a church. It was the Eastern Orthodox Church, and the western had the Holy Roman Church. Ok. So even though the Eastern Orthodox Church was different, it blended Church and State, just like the Holy Roman Church.
So when the Byzantine Empire collapsed, Sophia was the last person in the whole entire Royal Byzantine line.
AND SUDDENLY TURKS.
Ok. So Sophia had the remaining power of the Byzantine Empire and the power of the Eastern Orthodox Church.
So when Ivan got married, he got allathat power.
So Ivan appointed himself as the Protecter. Oooh... That sounds cool. Like a wrestling name or something. AND THEN THAT SONG IS LAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AND THE GUY GOES, “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... THE PROTECTOR!” and then he comes out and-
So we don’t know if he was a legit follower of Christ, but he took his position 4srs. He was like a crusader, because Mongols were Muslims, and he fought them off. He had a dream for a free Russia, and that’s what happened.
Sooo with Ivan married to Sophia, it was kinda like they were the eastern Roman Empire... In fact, that’s what Ivan thought.
Russia was pretty proud. It was like a new Rome. A Rome that had been brought back from the dead. A ZOMBIE ROME.
Ivan was successful in leading Zombierome. He refused to pay tribute to the Golden Hoard. Sophia agreed with him on the bold move.
SO UNLIKE THE MONGOLS, THEY DECIDED TO NOT HAVE A WAR.
So Ivan decided to call himself ruler of All Zombierome, and not just the little bit that he was ruling. He moved the capital to Moscow, and he had a bunch of buildings rebuilt. He actually brought in Italian architects to rebuild the Kremlin. Which was funny, because they were bringing back the Roman style.
Ivan dressed like a Byzantine emperor. He used the Byzantine Seal, which is a two headed eagle holding a sword and the Holy Hand Grenade. Oh, don’t believe me? You believed me about the Eagle on the blooming cactus eating a snake! Ok, well, here’s a picture of the seal:
YOU SEE! RIGHT THERE! IN HIS HAND!
Ok. But so.
Do you think everything was all peachy in Zombierome? Yeah! Totaly! Everything was aweso-
IT WASN’T GREAT.
Ivan got kinda
So he lessened the power of nobility because he decided it’d be a good idea to make a new class of land-owners. He gave land and power to his Armydoods. He decided to use the ABSOLUTELY PERFECT feudal system. He tweaked it a bit though. It became kinda like slavery, because they started trading their serfs. It wasn’t until 1861 that it ended. /lesob
And the serf class wasn’t little tiny. No. It was GIANORMOUS. They were entering the Dark Ages, unlike the rest of Europe. Well, Ivan wasn’t that horrible, and he wasn’t that great. He just kinda was. He was in the middle.
So even though we’re done with Ivan, we are NOT done with Russia. Soon, we will learn about his Grandon, whose nickname was not as lovely.
IVAN. THE. TERRIBLEEE.