AWESOME SCIENCE GUY.

OK SO THE CIVIL WAR WAS REALLY COMPLICATED THE ENGLISH CIVIL WAR BY THE WAY

but a few people still did stuff

ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT DID STUFF WAS NAMED ROBERT BOYLE. HIS NEW NAME IS ROB.

and rob was a scientist. a chemist, actually.

HE WAS THE FIRST MODERN CHEMIST.

and he was from ireland from a really really big family

HIS FAMILY WAS ACTUALLY SUPPORTIVE OF HIS ACADEMIC ENDEAVOURS WOW THIS IS GREAT AND KINDA REFRESHING

he also was into fencing and dancing and stuff

AND HE MOVED TO SWITZERLAND.

he was also a christian

IN GENEVA HE THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS GOING TO END BECAUSE A CHRISTIAN

seems about right

HE WAS LEFT A LARGE ESTATE BY HIS FATHER. HE COULD PRETTY MUCH DO WHATEVER HE WANTED BECAUSE HE HAD MONEY NOW.

he decided he’d join some cool secret society people

THESE COOL PEOPLE WERE CALLED THE INVISIBLE COLLEGE

this grew to become the royal society of london

THE ROYAL SOCIETY OF LONDON SOUNDS REALLY PRESTIGIOUS BECAUSE IT WAS.

now robbie had some nice connections because obvious reasons

HIS CONNECTIONS ALLOWED HIM TO BUILD A LABORATORY IN LONDON. WHICH IS WHERE HE MOVED.

he was pretty cool and figured stuff out

HE ALSO FIGURED OUT ELEMENTS WHICH WAS REALLY IMPORTANT

and a lot of other stuff that you can read about on google and wikipedia because you should know how to use the internet genius

COLOUR, CRYSTALS, REFRACTION, AND HYDROSTATICS OH MY.

i use british spelling yolo

HE ALSO AN ALCHEMIST THING SORT OF****** (hey guys asterisks means there’s a note at the end on this kthnx)

alchemy is cool don’t hate

ALCHEMY WAS KIND OF ILLEGAL BUT HE STILL DID IT ANYWAY.

nice job robbie

ALSO IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ALCHEMY IS GOOGLE IT BECAUSE I’M TOO LAZY TO EXPLAIN IT

he also played with air stuffs

AND HE LEARNED THAT A MOUSE WOULD FAINT FROM LACK OF OXYGEN

absolute genius

HE EVEN HAS A LAW NAMED AFTER HIM WHICH I CAN’T EVEN WIKIPEDIA HELP ME

“Boyle's law (sometimes referred to as the Boyle–Mariotte law) states that the absolute pressure and volume of a given mass of confined gas are inversely proportional, if the temperature remains unchanged within a closed system.[1][2] Thus, it states that the product of pressure and volume is a constant for a given mass of confined gas as long as the temperature is constant. “

THAT’S PRETTY COOL. IT EVEN HAS A NICE LITTLE GRAPHIC GIFY



note totally stolen for wikipedia /because i’m a cheater./

ROBBIE ALSO USED A LARGE CHUNK OF HIS FORTUNE TO HAVE THE BIBLE TRANSLATED INTO LIKE 5 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES.

actually it was exactly five that’s cool

HE NEVER MARRIED, BUT HE DID LIVE WITH HIS SISTER.

in his last years he was writing lectures

THESE LECTURES FROM THE LAST PART OF HIS LIFE WERE CALLED THE “BOYLE LECTURES”

hey we got somethin in common we’re great at naming things yep

WOW THAT WAS REALLY SHORT.

basically

HE WAS REALLY AWESOME.

THE END.

Note:

Hey guys! Did you know you can be an alchemist AND A CHRISTIAN WOW THAT’S CRAZY

because robbie here was not relying on mysticism like most alchemists

he was a scientist who just so happened to be into alchemy

And God.

he just broke like 5 stereotypes at once there.

mysticism =/= science

science = good

mysticism = bad scary no

alchemy + science = ok

alchemy + mysticism = not ok

thank you everyone

if unsure, consult an alchemist

Uhmmm SUPER WITTY SUBJECT TITLE I GUESS?

So you guiz know Mary Queen of Scots?

WELL YOU’RE NOT GONNA READ ABOUT HER.

You’re gonna read about her arch enemy, John Knox!

You have three guesses as to why. YES, IT WAS CATHOLIC VS. PROTESTANT SHTUFF. Mary was Catholic. John was not. And to mess things up even more, Mary’s mother was a French Catholic. Her cousin was the HEAD OF THE ENGLISH CHURCH. So Mary had some really weird roots.

But Knox can have weird roots too! He was raised catholic. But somewhere along the way he fell down a flight of stairs and sense was knocked into him.

Well not really but he did go to Catholic school but came out Protestant. However that works. And he was a really really strong one. He had a little preacher friend and he was basically his bodyguard. Because Scotland was Catholic at the time.

Like, srs. A few were captured and burned at the stake. One of these being John’s little preacherfran. Apparently, John did not do a very good job :|

This left a mark on John. Because after you watch someone you guard with your life burn to death, that is a little source of trauma in your every day life. So John and some other nobles took revenge!

ON THE ARCH BISHOP.

Which wasn’t good, but nobody really liked him anyway. So they just killed him and took over his castle. John wasn’t really into the whole revenge-murder stuff, but he did help take the castle.

And then he became a preacher!

And for a year, John and his friends had held the castle. And then Suddenly France was like “U MAD BRO?” and took it.

Now why the heck were the French in Scotland?

Because apparently, Scotland had been united with France a while back. And they bonded over their mutual hatred for England and it’s weird Religion mix thingy.

And as a Catholic nation, French troops came and jacked the castle again and imprisoned John and his buddies. They made them those people in the movies who rows the boats and were forced to attend Mass. FOR NINETEEN MONTHS.

John still hung out and was still Protestant. And then when he was freed. And he went to England and was a Chaplin to Edward. But then Edward died and and then Mary took over!

And Mary was a very strong Cathloc! Who burned Protestants! WHAT A WONDERFUL BOSS HE HAD.

So he got the monkeys out of England. And he went over to Geneva!

Which was a really smart place to go because it was all safe and nice and shtuff. He met John Calvin and they were best buddies and bleh bluh blah blah bluh bleh.

So it was really nice for Knox, but he got homesick so he was like “EVEN THOUGH IT’S DANGEROUS I’M JUST GONNA HANG OUT HERE.” but then the big fish were like “lol no ur not” and he was like “HA HA HA YEAH I WAS KIDDING!” And he went back to Switzerland. But then he was like “HAI GUIZ I’M BAAACK~” And he stayed for good.

So let’s pause. We have a lot of Marys.

Mary G. was French. She married WEDDED James V of Scotland.

Their daughter was named Mary. James V died.

Mary was a baby. She could not rule for hopefully obvious reasons. Mary G. ruled Scotland. Mary, who was half Scottish, half French, grew up in France. This Mary is Mary, Queen of Scots. Not Mary G.

Mary G. did not need to be on the throne because she was only Queen via Marriage. And she was French. Which is never good.

But she was a good queen because she allowed freedom of worship. A lot of Protestants ran into Scotland which made everyone happy.

Buuuuut! When Protestantism (Big words~!) started to get all over the place, Mary felt like the people were slipping away. Because Protestantism is slippery and it’s hard to pick things up when they keep sliding all over the place.

So she got one of those rubber things which help you open bottle caps when your hands are all slippery and she got a better grip. She started to make some rules which some people didn’t really like, and John Knox came over and was like HAI GUIZ and everyone was like HAI JOHN and he was like OH NOEZ THIS ISN’T GOOD LET’S GO INTO SWITZERLAND MODE!

Which sounded like a good idea at the time.

But he was kinda mean and hard with his preaching, and some mobs come and destroyed some Catholic Churches and stuff. Now he did not say openly “WE’RE GONNA GO START A RIOT YOU GUYS BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT CHRIST WOULD WANT US TO DO.” No, he was like “STRONG PREACHING STRONG PREACHING STRONG PREACHING” and the people had the idea for the riots. But not John. He wasn’t really related to that bit.

But he did write some stuff like “WOMEN ARE BAD. THAT MANS YOU, BLOODY MARY AND MARY G. AND MARY QUEEN OF SCOTS.”

“AND CATHERINE.”

They were all Catholic. And the Protestants were like YEAH!

And the Catholics were like WAT.

Especially the Marys.

And Catherine.

The book was banned, like, everywhere. Mary G. made possession of it PUNISHABLE BY DEATH. Even his buddy John Calvin was like “Dude.” and he banned the book too. But he just had it burned and didn’t really kill anyone for owning it.

But some how he got himself into Parliament. and after he was in there, HE WAS LIKE SUPERMAN. He basically transformed Scotland into a Protestant nation by preaching to them.

So this one time he was like “HAIII LIZABETHHHH” But Elizabeth was like “ha ha ha no im a woman im 2 week to rule i mean u said that riiiiiittteee?” And John was like “...CRUD. YEAH. SORRY ABOUT THAT.” And then she was all “ok heres some ships so france dosnt kil u kthnxbai”

And that worked and she drove the French Ships on to the land and then the Scottish dealt with them.

Then John was like “LET’S BOND OVER OUR MUTUAL HATED HATRED FOR FRANCE.” and then Elizabeth was like “kk”

Which was really ironic, because that is EXACTLY what happened with Scots and France.

John was grateful, but he was still like “I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT CHURCH YOU GOT THERE.”

So he secretly like “i want to make scotland more protestant than england because i’m cool and hipster like that.” So he preached a LOT, and he wrote some books, and basically devoted all his time to BEING MORE PROTESTANT THAN ENGLAND.

He prepared the “First Scottish Confession of Faith” and the “First Book of Discipline.”

And they were books!

They were standards/guidelines for the church and state and blah blah blah. However, he was a genius and thought the state was allowed to condemn heretics to death yayyy!

He was like “HA HA FORGET MR. P-TO-DA-OPE” And got rid of his rules, but then he was all “HA FORGET MASS” and he got rid of that too.

But so this is now the Presbyterian Church, which is all cool and dandy.

BUT THEN MARY.

Queen of Scots, this time.

She was 18 and pretty and smart and she was a widow (Which is sad, because she was married at really young) and since her French husband had died the French sent her packin’. Back to Scotland. As a really strong Catholic. In a really strong Protestant nation.

WELL THAT IS GONNA WORK REAL WELL.

She got married to a Catholic nobleman and everyone was like “WaT.”

Deja vu.

So everyone kinda guessed this would be a repeat of Bloody Mary, but it wasn’t really that bad. She was kinda ok-ish. Sorta. But she and John were like “RAH RAH RAH”

And John was like “RAH RAH MORALS RAH RAH”

And Mary was like “CRY CRY CRY I’M A BAD PERSON CRY.”

And then John was like “RAH RAH RAH YEAH RAH.”

And Mary was like “CRY CRY I DON’T CARE.”

Likesrs. John was a really brutal preacher. And Mary’s morals needed to be reformed. And eventually they were. But we’re not gonna talk about that right now ;D

So eventually John kinda calmed down a little. And then he died. Like most people do.

BUT SRS YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT LIKE A WHOLE THREE MORE DAYS TO FIGURE OUT MARY.

Witty Title

All homeschoolers love Calvin and Hobbes. Even some Public Schoolers LOVE Calvin and Hobbes. But homeschoolers especially.

And if you don’t know who Calvin and Hobbes are, go find them. Google. Local bookstores (not like Borders or anything. Like, local). Everywhere. Because Calvin and Hobbes are amazing.

And this is the man that Calvin was named after.

John Calvin~!

Skip back about a hundred yours from John Calvin. We have Jan Huss. Who was all “Is Mr. P-to-da-ope good?” And then he got killed. And so did a lot of his peeps. An so did John Wycliffe. And then Martin Luther accidentally the Reformation. And he didn’t like the indulgences, so he wanted to have an argument, but hey. So while Luther was over here in the Germany, Ulrich Zwingli was all up in the Switzerland but he and Luther were like “Well yeah but no.” Because Even though they were both reformists, they still had differing views. And this made a wall between the Lutherans and the other Protestants.

And the other protestants who followed Ulrich disagreed with Baptism and the separation of church and state. Then this dood come up and was named Menno was making the Anabaptists. And while they were all getting together, Henry VIII was like JUST GON MARRY ERRYBODY and to do that he needed to mess with the church a little bit. And he made himself the SUPREME HEAD OF THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND, which left Mr. P-to-da-ope very angry.

So look at this picture. LOOK AT IT. You see how stuff is screwing all the way up? While humanism was all big, God was also working on His stuff too. England and the west-ish area of Europe was being reformed.

JOHN CALVIN.

More than the rest before him, he solidified the rest of the movement. He was HUGE GIANT THING PERSON THING. He worked really hard at preaching, teaching, and writing. He was born in Northern France (Onhonhonhon~) and he was pushed to be a thriving member of the church. And at just 11, he went to college in Paris. Now I don’t know if that’s some sort of normal thing like if college was different or something, but that’s just impressive. But he got his masters at about 17, which is pretty impressive no matter what. He studied things like theology and law and shtuff, and he was pretty eloquent. And when he was in his young twenties, he converted to Christianity. He was teaching Protestant shtuffs in France. And France was not very kind to Protestants. And one of Calvin’s closest friends had to leave France, and Calvin joined him. And while John was running through Switzerland, he met this guy named Will Farrel William Farel. He wanted him to stay in Switzerland. And he did, but he didn’t really want to. But still, Will and John started up a church. But Jon started to pass up Will, but he was never jealous.

John was all humble and nice and stuff, and he didn’t get paid a lot because he didn’t want to, and he was all small and tiny and shtuff. But he was a strong preacher and everyone loved him. So that was good. He preached messages starting in Romans. However, Will and John weren’t perfect either. They set out to convert EVERYONE. Forcefully. And you know how that turns out.

After three years, John and Will got kicked out of the city. Will kept preaching and john settled down and married a nice old widow. However, the people who were hired to replace Will and John were really bad at preaching, so some people starting begging John to come back. So he didn’t really want to go, but he did anyways. So he went back ad kept preaching on the letters of Paul. So he started a very strict moral code, and made gambling, drinking, dancing, swearing, etc. etc. Adultery, Idolatry, and blasphemy were punishable by death. The others were just punishable by, you know, torture and imprisonment.

John did believe in separation of Church and state, but not too much. If that makes sense. It doesn’t really. So he created a group called a consistory. It had members from both the church and the state. They were basically churchy policemen, and they made sure everyone followed the moral code. For those who believed in Biblical teachings, then it was a wonderful place to live. There was a huge drop in crime, and everyone was happy. Sorta. You see, sometimes people took it a little too far. Three men were imprisoned for laughing at church. Some children were punished for eating cake during church. They were not allowed to have more than a certain number of plates on a diner table. Someone who wrote a bad note about John Calvin was tortured twice a day for a month, and then executed.

And there was this guy.

His name was Micheal, and he was one of the many executed. However, he was a true heretic. He was confusing many Europeans with Christ’s Deity, which is a fundamental belief of the Christian faith. And while Micheal was just passing through the city, And John saw him in the streets, so was captured and executed. He was put on trial, but no lawyer or means to defend himself. And he was proven guilty and set to burn. However, John didn’t want him to burn, and just wanted to behead him. Because burning hurts a lot worse than having a quick, clean beheading. Also, Micheal had to burn in green wood, which burns a lot slower and produces a lot of smoke and is worse in every single way.

This left a dark cloud over John’s conscience and name.



*cough*

Anyway.

He preached almost every day of the week, and he set up a university, and wrote a lot. However, he also got only four hours of sleep and ate once a day. So he wasn’t exactly healthy. He also grieved a lot when his wifeh died, which made it worse. He wrote another book called “Institutes of the Christian Religion.” He started it when he was in France, and dedicated it to Francis I.

So John Calvin fathered ANOTHER branch of Protestantism. Calvinism! The Pilgrims actually were Calvinists, also.

And er uh.

Soyeahtheend.

LIKE SOMETHING THAT SPREADS.

So we know the Protestant Reformation was not a very fun time. People did not only find bad shtuff with the Church, but they also didn’t like each other. By now it had spread through Germany and into Switzerland.
And Switzerland was kinda chaotic.
They were fighting for their independence, but soon they were “free”. They had city-state-thingy-ma-bobs kinda like Greece did. And the city-state-thingy-ma-bob-Cantons (that’s what they were called) were not very united.
SO THERE WAS THIS GUY.
His name was Ulrich Zwingli. We’ll name him Z, because that’s cool. And when he was 14, he was in college. He was into Greek and Hebrew and Latin, just like everybody else. He did it mostly to read the Bible, but you know. He was growing into the usual reformation guy. Doesn’t like the Church, wants to change it.
However, he was a priest for the Church. And he was about to get a promotion. So he took the job there, but instead of leading Mass like he usually did, he tought straight from the scripture.
AND OGURL.
Starting with the book of Matthew, he started to go over EVERY SINGLE WORD. Seriously. He went over the words. And explained them. And everyone was impressed. It took him 6 years to go through the entire New Testament, verse by verse. Except for Revelation. I dunno.
AND SUDDENLY PLAGUE~!
A lot of people moved out of the country for hopefully obvious reasons. But not Z. He stayed. He both battled the plague with himself, and he tended to other people. Which means he was a plague doctor. Plague Doctors are awesome. Plague Doctors are my favorite medieval Renaissance thing in the whole Renaissance. Plague Doctors are win.
BUT THIS MADE Z STRONGER IN HIS RELIGION.
So he decided a bunch of things with the church weren’t very good. He translated the Bible (OH NOBODY’S DONE THAT BEFORE) into the common language, and he started some smallgroup study~!
People started leaving monasteries. People started having sermons instead of Mass. People started getting married. OH MY GOSH IT’S INSANEE.
So Switzerland pretty much went through the same thing as Germany. Except easier. Because Z didn’t have to mess around with Mr. P-to-da-ope and all that. Because the Swiss could deal with their own Chruchy buzznuzz.
But, of course, he was STILL accused of heresy. DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE DID YYEWW.
But Mr. P-to-da-ope just asked Z to stop preaching. Which did not happen, because Z sent them a 67 point thesis thing. And everyone agreed with them.

Which is good!
...
Right?
...
Well, kinda. No. Sorta. They ENFORCED STRONGLY everything Z said. And Z became, unofficially, a political and spiritual leader. He ruled his little city state kinda like Rola and Florence. And that’s pretty good.
...
Right?
...
Well, kiiinda. His spiritual laws were HEAVILY ENFORCED by the government, as usual. Which was not good at all. This led to years and years of bloodshed and all that wonderful shtuff. Yayy~!
The first problem Z came to was with the Anabaptists. Pretty much because they though different. And they believed the Bible taught full separation of Church and State. Which means they did NOT like Z.
They also thought Baptism should only be given to those old enough to understand scripture. Which I can only guess is something Z liked.
And here is where Z slips up. He decided it’d be a good idea to try to stop the Anabaptists from spreading their sect of Christianity. How? With his political power!
Yeah.
Under Z’s power, people were arrested, tortured, executed, etc. Lovely.
AND HERE THINGS GET INTERESTING.
Z had another messy encounter. WITH MARTIN LUTHER.
You see, they disagreed on the subject of communion.
Luther believed like the Catholics. Z thought that the wine and bread was only a representation of Christ’s body and blood.
And so this trolland guy came in and was liek HAI GUIZ I’LL FIX THIS~~~!!!!1! And so he kidnapped Martin and Z and locked them in a room together until they agreed with each other.
....
Well, not really.
(Pretty much because they never agreed with each other.)
Luther called Z a heretic and went come crying to his mother.
Herpderp.
So Z and Martin had a facebook war via pamphlets to hand out to their followers because they refused to speak with each other, and the two sects of religion cannot agree with each other. Still.
E-E-E-EPICFAIL.
And Z’s final mistake would BE. HIS. LAST.
You know how Switzerland had city-state-things? Well 5 of them were still Roman Catholic.
And the mess was kicked off when one of Z’s preachers was burned in one of the Catholic Cantons.
AND OGURL.
So there was pretty much a big giant civil war. Z was fatally wounded because they TORE HIS LIMBS OFF AND PROCEEDED TO BURN HIM INTO ASHES.
Well I’d THINK he was fatally wounded.
But!
There’s now a statue in Zurich, Switzerland. See the picture~!

Yupyup. He and a sword and a Bible. You seee~?
So because Z was kind of immobilized due to the fact that his ashes were beaten into the ground, someone picked up where he left off. And his name was...
HEINRICH BULLINGER.
...
herpderp. He was a pastor and all that good stuff. He guided the Reformation right along, and apparently did not have any big problems. And if he did, that doesn’t really count because I do not know about them.
So the end~!