PERSECUTION AND OPPRESSION IS SCOTLAND FUN TIMES

K SO LET’S TALK ABOUT SOME PEOPLE DYING

sounds like fun right

WRONG IT ISN’T FUN. BECAUSE OPPRESSION. IN SCOTLAND.

k but first let’s rewind a bit

ENGLISH CIVIL WAR. THE PEOPLE WERE DIVIDED BETWEEN ROUNDHEADS AND CAVALIERS. CAVALIERS LIKED THE KING, ROUNDHEADS LIKED THE PARLIAMENT.

so pretty much the roundheads won and charlie was killed and olive was kinda a king sorta protector guy

AND CHARLIE’S SON WAS ALSO NAMED CHARLIE

and he’s who we’re talkin’ about :D

NOW SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THE RIGHTFUL KING OF ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND WAS CHARLES II.

because england and scotland were both ruled by the same king because reasons

HOWEVER NOBODY REALLY WANTED HIM TO BE KING SINCE HE WAS KINDA AN ENEMY TO THE ROUNDHEADS

so charlie v 2.0 was kinda in hiding right now since a lot of people wanted to kill him

AND HE SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH REGULAR PEOPLE

like he was pretty much a servant for people sometimes

AFTER ABOUT 40 DAYS HE WENT TO FRANCE AND FOUND HIS MOM

and they went into hiding together welp

AND LOUIS XIV WAS KING AT THE TIME

i bet you remember him don’tcha

SO HE LIKED THIS GUY A LOT SO HE GAVE HIM SOME MONEY AND CLOTHES AND STUFF

and then charlie went to brussles for a while!

THEN OLIVE DIED AND HIS SON KINDA TRIED TO TAKE OVER BUT HE STUNK AT IT

so charlie was like “hey uh can i just”

BECAUSE THE LORD PROTECTOR GUY THINGY POSITION WAS NOW HIRING

so after like forever of arguing over kings and having wars about kings and yes kings no kings /no kings/

PARLIAMENT ACTUALLY CAME UP TO CHARLIE LIKE “HEY I JUST MET YOU AND THIS IS CRAZY BUT THE THRONE IS EMPTY BE OUR KING MAYBE”

yes i came up with that myself it was hard be proud

SO A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WERE TOTALLY OK WITH THIS.

i’m serious a lot of people really liked this

THIS WAS CALLED THE ENGLISH RESTORATION

because england was being restored

AND THE ENGLISH WERE NOW LIKE TOTALLY COOL WITH AN ABSOLUTE MONARCH

ok let’s fight and kill people and ruin our country for a while and then we’ll get our way /and totally change our minds after that./

NOW CHARLIE WAS KINDA SIMILAR TO LOUIS OVER HERE WITH HIS PRETTY WIGS AND CLOTHES AND PALACES AND STUFF

but he was different from him because he was familiar with regular people

AND EVERYONE REALLY LIKED HIM. THE PARLIAMENT AND THE POOR PEOPLE AND THE RICH PEOPLE AND EVERYONE WAS PRETTY COOL WITH HIM BECAUSE HE WAS COOL WITH THEM.

now hang on just a minute

I STARTED THIS WITH TALKING ABOUT DYING AND WE’RE ALL LIKE WHOOP YAY KINGS WHAT IS THIS

well you see even though he was cool with a lot of people there was this one group who he dumb dumb stupid dumb

HE WAS PRETTY TOLERANT OF EVERYONE /EXCEPT THE SCOTTISH PRESBYTERIANS./

charlie

wat r u doin

charlie

stahp

BECAUSE THEY HAD KINDA HELPED KILL HIS DAD SO HE DECIDED REVENGE WAS A-OK.

and this guy thought he was the head of their church???

EVEN THOUGH THE OFFICIAL HEAD OF CHURCH WAS ACTUALLY GOD SO UH.

and then this guy decided he’d take over as head of the church of scotland

AND MADE IT ILLEGAL TO HAVE A COVENANT THAT STATED OTHERWISE.

uh

THAT MEANS HE KIDNA SAID “HI PRESBYTERIANS YOU DON’T REALLY EXIST ANYMORE KTHNX”

charlie no this isn’t

HE WASN’T EVEN INTO RELIGION OR ANYTHING TO BEGIN WITH

so now he decided he wanted more power so

SO HE STARTED PERSECUTING THESE GUYS

and they were about as willing to die for their cause as charlie was to kill for his

THAT’S A GREAT MIXTURE RIGHT

now these people were pretty smart though

YOU SEE, THEY WERE JUST NOT ALLOWED TO MEET IN CHURCHES. SO THEY JUST DID THEIR STUFF OUTSIDE.

it took a while for people to catch on

BUT WHEN THE POLICE /DID/ CATCH ON, AND THEY DECIDED IT WAS A NICE IDEA TO KILL ANYONE WHO DID THIS.

nice

SO EVERYONE JUST WENT AND GATHERED LIKE IN THE FOREST AND HILLS AND AWAY FROM EVERYTHING WHERE NOBODY WOULD FIND OUT

and then yeah a lot of persecution

AND THEN THINGS GOT WORSE.

the next king, james IV, just kinda decided that he wanted to get rid of all presbyterians

HE WAS PRETTY HORRIBLE

a few months when he ruled were actually known as the “killing times.”

GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS.

pretty much what you think it means

A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WERE KILLED.

however, a lot of pretty cool stories came from then which i heard this guy named google can tell you if you ask

and

the

post

ends

awkward and abruptly

ANOTHER SCIENCE GUY BUT ALSO SPIRITUAL GUY YAY

OK SO THIS FRENCH GUY

his name was pascal

BLAISE PASCAL

he was homeschooled but not by his mom but by his dad

ANY HOMESCHOOL DADS? MM?

anyway so his dad was kinda derp and made him master language before he did math or pretty much anything else

HE WAS KINDA WEIRD LIKE THAT, BUT HEY.

but anyway blaise was like

PFFT FORGET THAT I’MMA DO ME SOME GEOMETRY

and he did him some geometry

BUT HIS DAD DID NOT LIKE THIS

even though blaise figured out some cool stuff daddy was actually pretty cool with it???

HE WAS GIVEN A GEOMETRY BOOK BY EUCLID

euclid hahahah ok uhm sorry nobody knows what im talking about /because if you did you would have said something about robert boyle/ uh

SO BLAISE WROTE AN ESSAY ON SOME COMPLICATED MATHY STUFF

which is basically all of math but whatever

AND IT GOT DISCOVERED BY A GUY YOU KNOW NAMED RENE DESCARTES

he did not believe that little 16 year old blaise wrote it

BUT LITTLE 16 YEAR OLD BLAISE /DID/ WRITE IT.

and it was about something that is now known as pascal’s theorem

AND PASCAL’S THEOREM IS REALLY REALLY COOL GUYS

i mean if you’re a math geek which i am not i’m sorry

BUT IF YOU ARE A MATH GEEK, YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT BECAUSE WIKIPEDIA CAN EXPLAIN IT BETTER THAN I AND I CAN'T JUST COPY AND PASTE A PARAGRAPH OK IT'S COMPLICATED I THINK.

anyway then blaise (blaise just sounds cooler than pascal k) went and did something important

HE INVENTED THE SIMPLE CALCULATOR

yep it was all steampunky and everything

NOBODY REALLY LIKED IT BECAUSE THEY WERE AFRAID OF THE IMPENDING ROBOT TAKEOVER IT MAKING PEOPLE LAZY

but he was on to something big ok but it just took some time to catch on

BUT ONE THING PEOPLE LIKED WAS HOW MUCH HE UNDERSTOOD PRESSURE

im going to guess that math geeks also find this stuff cool but like i said /i am not a math geek i cant numbers/

LIQUIDS IN A CONFINED VESSEL CARRY PRESSURE IN ALL DIRECTIONS AT THE SAME RATE

lolidk

THIS MADE PUMPS AND ELEVATORS AND COMPRESSORS A LOT BETTER BECAUSE REASONS

and he even had a unit of measurement named after him

HIS OWN LITTLE MEASUREMENT WAS CALLED A PASCAL

but one this he was confused about was how a barometer worked

SO HE TOOK HIS BROTHER AND TOOK A BAROMETER AND PUT THEM AT THE BOTTOM OF A MOUNTAIN. THEN HE PUT HIM ON TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN.

yep

HE FIGURED OUT THAT AIR PRESSURE DECREASES WITH AN INCREASE IN ALTITUDE

but the problem was he was lonely

AND HE DID STUFF THAT PEOPLE DO TO NOT BE LONELY

meaning he joined the rich and famous people!

HE WAS A REALLY GOOD GAMBLER THOUGH BECAUSE HE KNEW HOW TO MATH

so he was pretty rich

LIKE HE WAS A CARD COUNTER IF YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS

and he developed a theory of probability

THE THEORY OF PROBABILITY IS REALLY BIG OK OK.

and he also invented the wristwatch

INVENTING THE WRISTWATCH WAS NOT REALLY THAT BIG OF AN ACCOMPLISHMENT BECAUSE ALL HE DID WAS TIE HIS POCKET WATCH TO HIS WRIST WITH A PIECE OF STRING

lets give this man an award

THEN HE HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE!

his horse drawn carriage fell off a bridge

WHILE HE WAS RECOVERING, HE READ THE ENTIRE GOSPEL OF JOHN.

and then he pretty much converted

HE WROTE DOWN HIS TESTIMONY AND SEWED IT INTO HIS COAT LINING SO THAT HE COULD KEEP IT CLOSE TO HIS HEART

awh ouo

HE SHIFTED HIS FOCUS FROM MATH AND SCIENCE TO SPIRITUAL SHTUFF

then he joined a convent?????

YES A CONVENT LIKE FOR NUNS????

it was not a traditional convent as you can guess

THIS CONVENT WAS FULL OF JANSENITES

now who the heck were these people

THE JANSENITES WERE ROMAN CATHOLICS WHO BELIEVED IN GRACE AND PREDESTINATION

they were like the puritans of the catholics kinda

THEY WERE PRETTY MUCH SHUNNED MOST OF THE TIME

however they still continued on with stuff

THEN HE WROTE SOME STUFF CALLED THE PROVINCIAL LETTERS

these were wildly popular in france and are considered some of the best french prose ever written

ANYWAY SO HE HAD A BOOK PUBLISHED CALLED PENSEES

that is the french word for thoughts

THE BOOK WAS ABOUT HIS THOUGHTS

wow shocker

HE DIED EVENTUALLY, PROBABLY FROM STOMACH CANCER.

well

THE END.

I POSTED ON TIME WITHOUT ANYBODY TELLING ME TO I'M RESPONSIBLE

SO THERE ARE THESE GUYS NAMED THE SOCIETY OF FRIENDS

BECAUSE FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC im dumb ill stop uh

the society of friends are i think more commonly known as the Quakers

and they followed this guy named George Fox

His name is Fox now

SO HE GREW UP IN ENGLAND ABOUT THE TIME OLIVE WAS CHILLIN OUT

so fox didn’t like hypocrites

you know

hypocrites like some of the puritans

BECAUSE A LOT OF THE PURITANS WERE CHRISTIANS ON THE OUTSIDE BUT NOT THE INSIDE WHICH IS LIKE THE ENTIRE POINT

nice job puritans yay

HE CALLED THESE GUYS “PROFESSORS” BECAUSE HE SAID THAT THEY WOULD DO ONE THING AND THEN THEY GET ALL “LOLNOPE”

so he started going around england trying to find some cool Christians

and people were like “calm down bro just get married or smoke or something”

and he was like “NO”

so he kinda totally turned over to God

ok

And he started believing that God was talking to him???

ok

SO HE KINDA HAD A CRAZY CONVERSION EXPIRENCE THING

ok

AND EVEN THOUGH HE WASN’T EXACTLY TRAINED TO BE A PASTOR HE DIDN’T REALLY CARE

ok

well thats pretty cool i guess

HE LIKED TO KEEP THINGS PRETTY SIMPLE

which i guess is pretty cool too

HE GOT HIMSELF A MEETING HOUSE THING AND THERE WEREN’T REALLY FORMAL SERVICES.

OR PRIESTS.

OR ANYTHING

ok

THESE GUYS WERE THE QUAKERS

ok

A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKED HIM BECAUSE THE ENGLISH CIVIL WAR WAS LIKE “BRAAAAAW” RIGHT NOW

thats a good reason to like someone

AND IN 1660 ABOUT 50,000 WERE QUAKERS. ER, FRIENDS. WHATEVER.

fox was pretty humble still

ok that’s actually pretty cool because obvious reasons

NOW NOT EVERYONE REALLY LIKED GEORGE

BECAUSE GEORGE DIDN’T LIKE THEM I GUESS?

whenever he ran into these people he was beaten and pushed down stairs

i warned you about the stairs bro i told you dog

ok i’m sorry nobody gets my jokes anyway sigh

A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE REALLY OFFENDED

BECAUSE HE DIDN’T LIKE TO TIP HIS HAT AT PEOPLE.

BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW????

BUT THEY WERE REALLY REALLY OFFENDED THEY WERE LIKE “DUDE LOVE ME” “NO IT’S AGAINST MY RELIGION” “LOOVE MEEE” “GO AWAY” “WITHOUT LOVE I WILL DIE” “GET OUT”

ok

SO EVENTUALLY GUY ENDED UP IN PRISON????

BECAUSE HE DIDN’T TIP HIS HAT TO PEOPLE?????

SEEMS LEGIT

THE QUAKERS WERE ALSO PERSECUTED

nice job everyone

BUT EVERYONE WAS KINDA SCARED THAT THE QUAKERS WERE GOING TO TRY TO OVERTHROW OLIVE

but they really weren’t going to because he was like politics what are politics thats dumb

OLIVE STARTED PERSECUTING THE QUAKERS BECAUSE HE WAS A GENIUS

HE FOUGHT FOR RELIGIOUS FREEDOM. YOU KNOW. FOR THE PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT JUST LIKE HIM.

and fox was like “uh excuse me what is this”

ok

SO FOX DECIDED HE’D GO OVER TO MERICUH

and he did

IN 1677

AND ONE OF HIS BUDDIES WAS NAMED WILLIAM PENN

HAVE YOU HEARD OF HIM

YOU HAVE NOW. WE’LL TALK ABOUT HIM LATER.

so eventually fox went back to england

AND HE GOT THROWN INTO PRISON

AGAIN

AND SO DID HIS WIFE

oh he got married ok

SO HE WROTE SOME STUFF AND THEN HE WAS LET OUT YAY

so eventually the quakers were accepted with the Act of Toleration, which released most of them from prison and let them worship kinda sorta?????

OK

THEY OPENED SOME SCHOOLS AND HOSPITALS

THAT’S NICE

AND IN 1691 THERE WERE ABOUT 100,000 QUAKERS

OK

THEN

THEN I GUESS HE DIED

AND THE QUAKERS LIVED ON

WELP.

AWKWARD ENDS. SHORT POSTS. THAT’S NICE.

APPLAUSE AND CLIFFHANGERS YAY

I GOTTA FEELIN’ THAT THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE

because were talking about the english civil war

AND IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT A CIVIL WAR IS, THEN GO GOOGLE IT GENIUS.

ok now this was pretty complicated

EVEN BETTER

so two guys!

KING CHARLES I AND OLIVER CROMWELL.

charles thought dictators were cool but it was hard for him to be one and oliver thought they weren’t but it was easy for him

THAT DIDN’T MAKE MUCH SENSE????

ok so a while back we were talking about elizabeth

SHE GOT KNOCKED OFF THE THRONE, AND THEN JAMES I WAS KING.

then he died as people tend to do

HIS SON CAME INTO POWER

his name was charles

AND HE WAS A LOT LIKE HIS DADDY

because he believed in the divine appointment of kings

MEANING HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOD’S GIFT TO HIS COUNTRY BASICALLY

now this is not a bad thing in and of itself but he was also one of those people who

THOUGHT EVERYTHING HE SAID WAS TRUE

ok thats wrong and england didn’t like it

ENGLAND WAS NOW CALLED AN ABSOLUTE MONARCHY.

so the people didnt really have much say in anything at all

NOW THEY COULD NO LONGER ELECT MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT.

now for those of you who dont know what parliament is go sit over with the “civil war wat” people and just google it

THE KINGS WERE SUPPOSED TO WORK WITH THE PARLIAMENT FOR IMPORTANT STUFF

however guess how many times charlie here called parliament up all like “wat do hlap”

HE DID NOT ASK PARLIAMENT FOR THEIR SAY ON ANYTHING FOR 11 YEARS

this was not a good thing because lots and lots of money was spent on wars

WHAT HAPPENS WHENEVER YOU SPEND LOTSA MONEY ON WAR? TAXES!

thnx king charlie

HE DID CALL PARLIAMENT INTO SESSION ONCE. GUESS WHAT HE SAID. “AHSKDFJHAWKJEHNFKAJSDJ HALP WERE OUT OF MONEY GUYS THIS IS YOUR FAULT”

he had divided the members of parliament into two groups.

THESE TWO GROUPS HE HAD DIVIDED WOULD BE THE PEOPLE THAT LIKED HIM AND THE PEOPLE THAT DIDN’T. THOSE WHO BELONGED TO THE FIRST GROUP WERE CALLED “THE ROYALISTS” OR “THE CAVALIERS”.

they were called the cavaliers because they were. they. were cavaliers. and they liked the king yay question mark no thats a bad thing

AND AGAINST THE KING WERE THE “PARLIAMENTARIANS”. MOST OF THESE WERE PURITANS. THEY WERE NICKNAMED “ROUNDHEADS”

i dont even????? ok apparently they didn’t like the cool hair like the cavaliers and they looked like that one kid from that old nick show



look visual representation

IN 1642 THE PARLIAMENT WAS KIND OF TAKEN OVER BY THE ROUNDHEADS FOR THE NEXT 20 YEARS

this was nicknamed the long parliament

CHARLES HAD NO CONTROL OVER THIS.

and now the war started

THE FIRST WAR WAS HELD IN THE SAME YEAR. IT WAS RATHER SMALL AND NORMAL PEOPLE STAYED OUT OF IT, MORE OR LESS.

however after a while they started getting involved.

THE ROUNDHEADS HAD FARMHANDS AND OTHER WORKING PEOPLE. THE CAVALIERS WERE NOW NOBLES, CATHOLICS... AND THE IRISH???

war raged on for a while

FOUR YEARS, TO BE EXACT. ABOUT TEN PERCENT OF THE POPULATION DIED.

and ok even though this is a civil war the scottish came

NOW THE ROUNDHEADS WERE BEING HELPED BY THE SCOTTISH

in the battle of nayseby some serious stuff went down

IN 1645, CHARLIE RAN AWAY TO... TO. TO SCOTLAND.

uh i dont get it why did he go there???

THIS ENDED THE FIRST CIVIL WAR.

while in scotland, charlie tried to kinda calm the scottish down? that didn’t really work. Nobody trusted him (duh) because he wasn’t really into the whole religious freedom.

THE SCOTTISH TURNED AGAINST CHARLIE

he eventually gathered up a little army.

THEN HE STARTED THE 2ND CIVIL WAR. IT LASTED LESS THAN A YEAR AND ENDED THE SAME WAY AS THE FIRST

lets have some applause for charlie here

CHARLIES WAS CAPTURED THIS TIME, THOUGH, BY THE SCOTTISH. WHO GAVE HIM TO THE ENGLISH. WHO ARRESTED HIM.

ok so these people from parliament showed up

THE PARLIAMENT DECIDED WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO CHARLIE. THEY THOUGHT KILLING HIM WAS A GOOD PLAN.

he was sentenced to death for treason hey at least it wasn’t heresy.

HE WAS PUBLICLY EXECUTED IN 1649.

now this should have ended the war right ok bad guy leader died now lets all sit back and drink tea in the rain and then 30 minutes later it'll snow and then 5 minutes after that it'll get sunny

HOWEVER, THERE WERE STILL TWO SIDES. THE IRISH DECIDED THEY WOULD JOIN THE CAVALIERS, AND THE SCOTTISH THE ROUNDHEADS.

so now that we got this under our belt, what about that other guy?

OLIVER. HE WAS BORN INTO A PURITAN FAMILY AND WAS PRETTY NORMAL.

he was a pretty chill guy who didn’t like politics much

THEN HIS BUDDIES SENT HIM OFF TO PARLIAMENT.

he had no training.

AND HE WAS A ROUNDHEAD, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS A PURITAN. AND HE WAS ALSO A GENERAL. AND A SOLDIER. AND A STATESMAN.

even though he was poorly educated he was still really really good at those things

AND HE ALSO MADE SURE HIS SOLDIERS PRAYED AND WORSHIPED GOD.

because he believed that would make them good soldiers

THEY WERE NEVER BEATEN, EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE USUALLY OUTNUMBERED.

and even though he was really awesome and stuff bad things happened

A MASSACRE HAPPENED.

yeah

CROMWELL DECIDED TO KILL A BUNCH OF IRISH. INCLUDING CIVILIANS. AND MOSTLY CATHOLIC PRIESTS. AND BY NOW ABOUT 2/3 OF IRELAND WAS IN ENGLAND’S HANDS. 600,000 PEOPLE DIED FROM EITHER DISEASE, STARVATION, OR JUST STRAIGHT UP MURDER/WAR.

gee cromwell sounds great

HE CALLED THIS GOD’S JUDGEMENT

oh even better

EVENTUALLY, HE HELPED PARLIAMENT ESTABLISH A COMMONWEALTH.

go join your civil war and parliament buddies at google. it’s fine. no rush. i’ll wait here.

THIS WAS GOOD FOR A TEMPORARY SOLUTION. BUT THEN OLIVE KINDA OVERTHREW THE COMMONWEALTH AND TRIED OUT A NEW PLAN.

he made this new form of government

THIS WAS CALLED A PROTECTORATE. WHICH WAS BASED ON A WRITTEN CONSTITUTION. GUESS WHO THE OVERSEER WAS?

olive

NICE GOIN’ OLIVE.

now the puritans were happy because they were ruled over by a puritan

HE MADE SOME MORAL LAWS THE LINED UP WITH HIS PERSONAL BELIEFS AND THESE WERE CALLED “BLUE LAWS”

because they were printed on blue paper

NOW HE WAS PRETTY OK MOST OF THE TIME, BUT HE STARTED KINDA ACTING YOU KNOW LIKE AN ABSOLUTE MONARCH???

wow hey standing ovation

HE STARTED KIND OF LIVING LIKE A KING.

some called him a dictator (hint he kinda was.)

HE KEPT HIS POSITION FOR 15 YEARS.

it was pretty hard on him because it was hard to keep everyone happy.

HE WAS NEARLY ASSASSINATED ACTUALLY AND LOTS OF PEOPLE REALLY REALLY HATED HIM.

then there was another change of government!

THEY GOT A KING BACK

BUT NOT BEFORE ANOTHER CIVIL WAR.

I SCREWED IT UP SIGH I HAD ALL THE IMPORTANT STUFF IN CAPS AND THE LESS IMPORTANT IN NOT AND THEN I HAD TO SCREW EVERYTHING UP SIGH OK OH WELL ALRIGHT IT’S THE END ANYWAY

CLIFFHANGER I GUESS

AWESOME SCIENCE GUY.

OK SO THE CIVIL WAR WAS REALLY COMPLICATED THE ENGLISH CIVIL WAR BY THE WAY

but a few people still did stuff

ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT DID STUFF WAS NAMED ROBERT BOYLE. HIS NEW NAME IS ROB.

and rob was a scientist. a chemist, actually.

HE WAS THE FIRST MODERN CHEMIST.

and he was from ireland from a really really big family

HIS FAMILY WAS ACTUALLY SUPPORTIVE OF HIS ACADEMIC ENDEAVOURS WOW THIS IS GREAT AND KINDA REFRESHING

he also was into fencing and dancing and stuff

AND HE MOVED TO SWITZERLAND.

he was also a christian

IN GENEVA HE THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS GOING TO END BECAUSE A CHRISTIAN

seems about right

HE WAS LEFT A LARGE ESTATE BY HIS FATHER. HE COULD PRETTY MUCH DO WHATEVER HE WANTED BECAUSE HE HAD MONEY NOW.

he decided he’d join some cool secret society people

THESE COOL PEOPLE WERE CALLED THE INVISIBLE COLLEGE

this grew to become the royal society of london

THE ROYAL SOCIETY OF LONDON SOUNDS REALLY PRESTIGIOUS BECAUSE IT WAS.

now robbie had some nice connections because obvious reasons

HIS CONNECTIONS ALLOWED HIM TO BUILD A LABORATORY IN LONDON. WHICH IS WHERE HE MOVED.

he was pretty cool and figured stuff out

HE ALSO FIGURED OUT ELEMENTS WHICH WAS REALLY IMPORTANT

and a lot of other stuff that you can read about on google and wikipedia because you should know how to use the internet genius

COLOUR, CRYSTALS, REFRACTION, AND HYDROSTATICS OH MY.

i use british spelling yolo

HE ALSO AN ALCHEMIST THING SORT OF****** (hey guys asterisks means there’s a note at the end on this kthnx)

alchemy is cool don’t hate

ALCHEMY WAS KIND OF ILLEGAL BUT HE STILL DID IT ANYWAY.

nice job robbie

ALSO IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ALCHEMY IS GOOGLE IT BECAUSE I’M TOO LAZY TO EXPLAIN IT

he also played with air stuffs

AND HE LEARNED THAT A MOUSE WOULD FAINT FROM LACK OF OXYGEN

absolute genius

HE EVEN HAS A LAW NAMED AFTER HIM WHICH I CAN’T EVEN WIKIPEDIA HELP ME

“Boyle's law (sometimes referred to as the Boyle–Mariotte law) states that the absolute pressure and volume of a given mass of confined gas are inversely proportional, if the temperature remains unchanged within a closed system.[1][2] Thus, it states that the product of pressure and volume is a constant for a given mass of confined gas as long as the temperature is constant. “

THAT’S PRETTY COOL. IT EVEN HAS A NICE LITTLE GRAPHIC GIFY



note totally stolen for wikipedia /because i’m a cheater./

ROBBIE ALSO USED A LARGE CHUNK OF HIS FORTUNE TO HAVE THE BIBLE TRANSLATED INTO LIKE 5 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES.

actually it was exactly five that’s cool

HE NEVER MARRIED, BUT HE DID LIVE WITH HIS SISTER.

in his last years he was writing lectures

THESE LECTURES FROM THE LAST PART OF HIS LIFE WERE CALLED THE “BOYLE LECTURES”

hey we got somethin in common we’re great at naming things yep

WOW THAT WAS REALLY SHORT.

basically

HE WAS REALLY AWESOME.

THE END.

Note:

Hey guys! Did you know you can be an alchemist AND A CHRISTIAN WOW THAT’S CRAZY

because robbie here was not relying on mysticism like most alchemists

he was a scientist who just so happened to be into alchemy

And God.

he just broke like 5 stereotypes at once there.

mysticism =/= science

science = good

mysticism = bad scary no

alchemy + science = ok

alchemy + mysticism = not ok

thank you everyone

if unsure, consult an alchemist

posting schedule what posting schedule here take this it's john comenius

K SO THE 30 YEARS WAR REMEMBER IT

STARTED IN BOHEMIA IN PRAGUE

BECAUSE THE CATHOLICS AND THE PROTESTANTS

REMEMBER WHEN THEY PUSHED THE PEOPLE OUT THE WINDOW AND STARTED A WAR YEAH THAT WAR.

IT WAS PRETTY MUCH KIND OF A WORLD WAR BECAUSE IT COVERED LIKE ALL OF EUROPE WHICH WAS BASICALLY THE WORLD.

and there was this guy

named john

and he was born in moravia

and it was part of the holy roman empire the hre if you will

SO BOUT TIME 30 YEARS WAR BROKE OUT, JOHN WAS A RICH AND THRIVING SCHOOL TEACHER AND PASTOR WAIT

wait

ok sorry im not funny john wasnt really rich and thriving he was just ok i guess

SO THESE GUYS NAMED THE UNITUS FRATERNUM OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE UNITY OF THE BRETHREN WERE BASICALLY HIS GUYS. WHO WERE ALSO KINDA FOLLOWERS OF JAN HUSS. WHO WAS A REFORMER.

THIS WAS A PROBLEM.

BECAUSE THE HRE WAS CATHOLIC. AND THEIR CHURCH WAS PROTESTANT.

AND WHEN THE 30 YEARS WAR STARTED UH OH BAD THINGS.

tey waz in truble

AND IN 1620 WHEN FERD KICK FRED OFFA THE THRONE OF BOHEMIA, FERD WAS LIKE “HEY GUYS LET’S RUIN EVERYTHING AND MAKE BOHEMIA CATHOLIC”

AND THEN WHOEVER WAS RUILIN’ MORAVIA WAS LIKE “YEAH US TOO”

so for like 7 years johnny boy had to live on the run

and his home was burned to the ground

whoops

wait also apparently all his buddies followed him too ok

and while he was on the run he was writing a book????

K DAS COOL I GUESS

no actually thats pretty awesome its hard to write when youre just sitting at home he wrote a whole book man while he was running and in hiding and stuff

BASICALLY EVERYONE GOT FED UP AFTER LIKE 7 YEARS. SO THEY WENT TO POLAND. YES.

and john ~never went back~

bum bum bummm

BUT NOW HE WAS IN POLAND WHICH WAS REALLY NICE AND HE NEVER WENT BACK BECAUSE POLAND WAS PRETTY COOL

also fun notes over half of europe could not read or write so john was like “uh we should make eduicaitoin for errybody”

WELP.

also any unschoolers here using me as a history curriculum

no?

sigh ok yeah probably not uh

BUT HEY HE THOUGHT UNSCHOOLING WAS AWESOME.

WHICH IS COOL, RIGHT.

RIGHT.

IT’S AWESOME.

even though i have never unschooled i dont care thats cool and so is unschooling even though i probably couldn’t do it sobs because i am a procrastinator and easily distracted

SO JOHN THOUGHT THAT THE ONLY TRUTH WAS GOD’S TRUTH TOO SO HE WAS A CHRISTIAN YEP

AND ENGLAND THOUGHT THAT HE WAS COOL

SO ENGLAND WAS LIKE “GET OVER HERE”

AND JOHN WAS LIKE “K”

so he did

he got over to england

the same time that civil war broke out in england

welp

that’s nice timing isn’t it

WAR KINDA PUTS A HALT TO

EVERYTHING

you see school kinda takes the back burner whenever you’re trying to not die

JOHN WENT TO SWEDEN AND TUTORED THE QUEEN THERE???

THEN HE WENT TO POLAND??/

and after a few years the whole 30 years war was over

but he wasn’t allowed to go back to moravia for reasons??????

so he chilled with his follower people all over europe

then his wife died uh and he had 4 kids to make sure they were smart

THEN HE WAS LIKE “YAY SWEDISH PROTESTANTS”

AND FOR SOME REASON POLAND WAS LIKE “WE DONT LIKE THE SWEDEN WERE GON BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN”

deja vu

oh

HE WENT TO AMSTERDAM THEN

AND WROTE SOME MORE

AND IN 1658 HE MADE A TEXT BOOK

FOR KIDS

WHICH WAS AWESOME BECAUSE KIDS DIDN’T REALLY GET TEXT BOOKS A LOT

AND IT HAD ~PICTURES~

a lot of pictures

SO A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKED THIS I GUESS

AND ENGLAND AND HOLLAND CALLED HIM UP LIKE “HELP WE’RE GON KILL EACH OTHER UNLESS YOU MAKE US NOT”

JOHN WAS LIKE “I GOT DIS I GOT DIS K DONT KILL EACH OTHER THE END”

BUT THEY WERE LIKE “THAT DIDN’T HELP”

apparently they didnt like him

WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS LATER OK HOLD YOUR ENGLAND AND HOLLANDS

so his buddies went to herrnhut (actual spelling i guess pronunciation is somethin like HRUAURNAUCHCUCUCHCHUHTHCHT.) and started a revival

welp

SO JOHN WROTE OVER 154 BOOKS.

WOW.

HE IS CONSIDERED TODAY TO BE THE FATHER OF MODERN EDUCATION. AND HIS FACE IS ON CHEZELVOKOALOLVIAVKAIA’S MONEY. YEP.

THE END.

i don't always stop posting and then randomly start again, but when i do, it's on the wrong day.

mom has specifically stated that i can’t but any bad jokes in here

sigh.

SO ANYONE HERE FROM THE GREAT STATE OF CONNECTICUT?

I SURE HOPE SO. BECAUSE YOUR STATE WAS FOUNDED BY A GUY NAMED THOMAS HOOKER

yep

SO HE WAS BORN IN ENGLAND. and he was a puritan. sort of. then he went to college and was a super puritan and started preaching

BUT HE JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE LIVING AT THE TIME WHEN THE ENGLISH CHURCH REALLY DIDN’T LIKE PURITANS.

and there was this mean archbishop who didn’t like him at all and tom here quit preaching but the guy was still like “NO I’MMA ARREST YOU BECAUSE I’M STUPID.”

So Tom went to the netherlands~!

but he was like “meh” so he WENT TO AMERICA.

but the archbishop still didn’t like him and actually followed him for a while until tom went out to sea

AND HE WENT THERE ON A SHIP NAMED THE GRIFFON. AND HE LIKED IT SORTA. HE WAS FORCED TO LIKE IT FOR 8 WEEKS, ACTUALLY. WHICH IS WHEN HE GOT TO SHORE.

so he kinda settled down in massachusetts for a little

THEN HE HAD A FIGHT WITH JOHN WINTHROP, THE GOVERNOR.

but what were they fighting over exactly

OK SO JOHN GOT ELECTED TO BE GOVERNOR LIKE 500 TIMES AND TOM WAS LIKE “UH THIS COULD BE A PROBLEM LATER. I MEAN IT’S NOT A PROBLEM NOW BECAUSE WE ALL LIKE YOU BUT”

because john had some sort of law or somethin’ that only members of the puritan church could vote

uh

ok now on paper this is a good idea but it went something like

“HEY, YOU DON’T BELIEVE EXACTLY WHAT I DO? PFFT TOO BAD YOU DON’T GET AN OPINION THEN!”

which was kinda ok because almost everyone was a puritan and the rest were strangers so

NOW WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED FROM HISTORY.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CHURCH AND GOVERNMENT MIX?

THAT’S RIGHT, PERSECUTION~!

the head of the church and the head of the government WERE THE SAME PEOPLE.

This was also the case in English. The exact. Same. Thing.

HEY GUYS WE LEFT EVERYTHING ABOUT OUR OLD LIVES BEHIND AND WE’RE GOING TO DO THE EXACT SAME THING HERE EXCEPT I’M RIGHT AND THEY’RE WRONG THAT MAKES IT OK.

now hooker here was like “uh excuse me this is a bad idea or at least it could be”

HE HAD THE IDEA OF SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!

and he’s probably turning somersaults in his grave right now

SO HE LEFT WITH ABOUT 100 SETTLERS TO START HIS OWN COLONY.

which was connecticut dear people who forgot

THE LAND THERE WAS REALLY GOOD AND THAT WAS GOOD

THERE WERE THREE SETTLEMENTS. ONE TWO THREE. AND THEY WERE FAR ENOUGH AWAY FROM MASSACHUSETTS TO ALL COME TOGETHER AND START THEIR OWN COLONY. AND THE KING OF ENGLAND WAS LIKE “YEAH THAT’S COOL GO FOR IT GUYS”

he and some guys wrote down their ideas of freedom into “The Fundamental Orders of Connecticut” which was pretty cool

ALSO THE FOUNDER OF AMERICAN DEMOCRACY WAS THIS GUY. SO A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY, AT LEAST.

THINGS SOUND PRETTY NICE HERE RIGHT

nope suddenly indians

ONE TRIBE CALLED THE

CALLED

CALLED THE PEQUOTS DIDN’T LIKE THESE PEOPLE.

at all

like

some murder went down

some 9 murderers went down

and then some arson went down on the pequots

and also some murder of 400+ women, children, and men

pequots

guys no

guys

colonists guys no don’t burn down villages

don’t kill 400+ people

pequots colonists

ok

bad ending mode activate