posting schedule what posting schedule here take this it's john comenius

K SO THE 30 YEARS WAR REMEMBER IT

STARTED IN BOHEMIA IN PRAGUE

BECAUSE THE CATHOLICS AND THE PROTESTANTS

REMEMBER WHEN THEY PUSHED THE PEOPLE OUT THE WINDOW AND STARTED A WAR YEAH THAT WAR.

IT WAS PRETTY MUCH KIND OF A WORLD WAR BECAUSE IT COVERED LIKE ALL OF EUROPE WHICH WAS BASICALLY THE WORLD.

and there was this guy

named john

and he was born in moravia

and it was part of the holy roman empire the hre if you will

SO BOUT TIME 30 YEARS WAR BROKE OUT, JOHN WAS A RICH AND THRIVING SCHOOL TEACHER AND PASTOR WAIT

wait

ok sorry im not funny john wasnt really rich and thriving he was just ok i guess

SO THESE GUYS NAMED THE UNITUS FRATERNUM OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE UNITY OF THE BRETHREN WERE BASICALLY HIS GUYS. WHO WERE ALSO KINDA FOLLOWERS OF JAN HUSS. WHO WAS A REFORMER.

THIS WAS A PROBLEM.

BECAUSE THE HRE WAS CATHOLIC. AND THEIR CHURCH WAS PROTESTANT.

AND WHEN THE 30 YEARS WAR STARTED UH OH BAD THINGS.

tey waz in truble

AND IN 1620 WHEN FERD KICK FRED OFFA THE THRONE OF BOHEMIA, FERD WAS LIKE “HEY GUYS LET’S RUIN EVERYTHING AND MAKE BOHEMIA CATHOLIC”

AND THEN WHOEVER WAS RUILIN’ MORAVIA WAS LIKE “YEAH US TOO”

so for like 7 years johnny boy had to live on the run

and his home was burned to the ground

whoops

wait also apparently all his buddies followed him too ok

and while he was on the run he was writing a book????

K DAS COOL I GUESS

no actually thats pretty awesome its hard to write when youre just sitting at home he wrote a whole book man while he was running and in hiding and stuff

BASICALLY EVERYONE GOT FED UP AFTER LIKE 7 YEARS. SO THEY WENT TO POLAND. YES.

and john ~never went back~

bum bum bummm

BUT NOW HE WAS IN POLAND WHICH WAS REALLY NICE AND HE NEVER WENT BACK BECAUSE POLAND WAS PRETTY COOL

also fun notes over half of europe could not read or write so john was like “uh we should make eduicaitoin for errybody”

WELP.

also any unschoolers here using me as a history curriculum

no?

sigh ok yeah probably not uh

BUT HEY HE THOUGHT UNSCHOOLING WAS AWESOME.

WHICH IS COOL, RIGHT.

RIGHT.

IT’S AWESOME.

even though i have never unschooled i dont care thats cool and so is unschooling even though i probably couldn’t do it sobs because i am a procrastinator and easily distracted

SO JOHN THOUGHT THAT THE ONLY TRUTH WAS GOD’S TRUTH TOO SO HE WAS A CHRISTIAN YEP

AND ENGLAND THOUGHT THAT HE WAS COOL

SO ENGLAND WAS LIKE “GET OVER HERE”

AND JOHN WAS LIKE “K”

so he did

he got over to england

the same time that civil war broke out in england

welp

that’s nice timing isn’t it

WAR KINDA PUTS A HALT TO

EVERYTHING

you see school kinda takes the back burner whenever you’re trying to not die

JOHN WENT TO SWEDEN AND TUTORED THE QUEEN THERE???

THEN HE WENT TO POLAND??/

and after a few years the whole 30 years war was over

but he wasn’t allowed to go back to moravia for reasons??????

so he chilled with his follower people all over europe

then his wife died uh and he had 4 kids to make sure they were smart

THEN HE WAS LIKE “YAY SWEDISH PROTESTANTS”

AND FOR SOME REASON POLAND WAS LIKE “WE DONT LIKE THE SWEDEN WERE GON BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN”

deja vu

oh

HE WENT TO AMSTERDAM THEN

AND WROTE SOME MORE

AND IN 1658 HE MADE A TEXT BOOK

FOR KIDS

WHICH WAS AWESOME BECAUSE KIDS DIDN’T REALLY GET TEXT BOOKS A LOT

AND IT HAD ~PICTURES~

a lot of pictures

SO A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKED THIS I GUESS

AND ENGLAND AND HOLLAND CALLED HIM UP LIKE “HELP WE’RE GON KILL EACH OTHER UNLESS YOU MAKE US NOT”

JOHN WAS LIKE “I GOT DIS I GOT DIS K DONT KILL EACH OTHER THE END”

BUT THEY WERE LIKE “THAT DIDN’T HELP”

apparently they didnt like him

WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS LATER OK HOLD YOUR ENGLAND AND HOLLANDS

so his buddies went to herrnhut (actual spelling i guess pronunciation is somethin like HRUAURNAUCHCUCUCHCHUHTHCHT.) and started a revival

welp

SO JOHN WROTE OVER 154 BOOKS.

WOW.

HE IS CONSIDERED TODAY TO BE THE FATHER OF MODERN EDUCATION. AND HIS FACE IS ON CHEZELVOKOALOLVIAVKAIA’S MONEY. YEP.

THE END.

HEY LOOK THESE PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO COUNT UNLIKE THE 100 YEARS WAR PEOPLE

ok thiss is a long one BRACE YOURSELVES.

Because this was a war. A complicated one. With lots of nations and lots of fighting and balauhaluhah.

IT’S CALLED THE 30 YEARS WAR.

and basically the Catholics and the Protestants had a big fight.

and this is not one of those stupid ones where it’s like OK THIS WAR IS CALLED THE THIS-IS-HOW-LONG-IT-LASTED WAR BUT NOT REALLY. It actually did last 30 years yay.

Started in 1618. Guess when it ended.

OK SO LET’S TALK ABOUT THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE FOR A SEC.

The HRE wasn’t even actually a country. It was just. This area. And it had a bunch of countries which just kinda fell under the rule of this one government. THOSE WERE. AUSTRIA, BOHEMIA, FRANCHE-COMTE (whut.), GERMANY, LORRIANE, LUXEMBOURG, MORAVIA, SWITZERLAND, AND A PART OF HUNGARY. so basically that whole general area over there ok.

AND FOR ALMOST 400 YEARS THE HRE JUST KINDA HAD ONE FAMILY IN CHARGE. The Hapsburgs. this is important yo remember this.

and ANYWAY THE 30 YEARS WAR STARTED HERE IN BOHEMIA.

the people got angry and started throwing their officials out the windows.

welp.

i. welp. i. this seems like a good idea let’s just throw our elected officials out of windows that will solve ALL OUR PROBLEMS

oh by the way this happened twice.

SO THERE WERE SOME PEOPLE. SOME PROTESTANTS. AND SOME CALVINISTS. AND THEY DIDN’T LIKE THEIR CATHOLIC PEOPLE. SO THEY ALL JUST KINDA. THREW THEM OUT OF WINDOWS. ALONG WITH THEIR KING. Because he wanted to shut down their churches.

yep.

by the way everyone who got thrown out of windows lived. The Catholics said it was because of Divine Intervention. The Protestants said it was because they landed in manure.

i cant

AND THIS WAS CALLED THE DEFENESTRATION OF PRAGUE.

AND THEN A WAR HAPPENED. Because the elected officials were not happy being thrown out of windows.

war happened and the people were not happy with anyone so they just got their own king. And they were gonna replace the old king (Ferdinand) with their king (Frederick).

but so after he was kicked out he got elected to be the Holy Roman Emire.

WHAT.

So as emperor, Ferd (The new Holy Roman Emperor) ordered that Fred (The King of Bohemia) get off the throne.

Fred said no.

So Ferd sent an army of 25,000 men to make Fred not say no.

So Ferd just kinda. Made Bohemia Catholic again.

AND IF IT STOPPED HERE, THEN THERE MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN A WAR.

but no. word spread that the new emperor did NOT like Protestants. And people started freaking out. And people started just talking bad out each other and then people started just straight up fighting and then THE DANISH INVASION.

So the King of Denmark. And his name was Christian IV. Chris. And Denmark wasn’t actually a part of the Holy Roman Empire. BUT THEY WERE STILL FREAKING OUT BECAUSE THEY WERE RIGHT THERE NEXT TO IT.

And they were Lutherans. And Chris just kinda led 20,000 men off to war.

yep.

Also Chris had to deal with the other guy named Tilly (ok no lie) who had that army of 25,000 who got Fred off the throne.

Chris also had to deal with THE BEST GENERAL FERD HAD named Wallenstien. Pronounced with a V. VALLENSTIEN.

He also had a really weird mix of Protestants and Catholics in his army, but he was a Jesuit so?????

Chris couldn’t really compete. So he gave up.

so he signed a treaty so he could stay king of Denmark.

AND AGAIN, THE WAR COULDA JUST ENDED.

But some Catholics came all whiny to Ferd like THESE PROTESTANTS STOLE OUR PLACE and he was like “OK PROTESTANTS YOU GIVE BACK EVERYTHING YOU TOOK AND ALSO ALL THIS STUFF.”

it did not go exactly as planned.

SO THE SWEDISH. They also were not part of the HRE????? But they also were really close????

So this guys named Gustavus Adolphus. he wa

kay hold up

THE HECK SORT OF NAME I CANT JUST I WHAT AWHAKWJETKDFG ok back to business

HE WAS THE KING OF SWEDEN. And he also had an army. WITH GUNS. New guns. Faaaancy guns.

So this Gustavus guy was pretty cool. He was like “OK WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT BRO” and he pretty much let whoever he conquered have whatever religion they wanted.

SO YOU REMEMBER TILLY.

He defeated that army.

and then Wall.

who he met.

AND THERE WAS A BIG FIGHT OK.

a big big big fight

and the Swedes were way outnumbered

BUT THEY WON ANYWAY

BUT THEIR KING DIED

welp.

OK NOW THERE’S STILL MORE.

AND FRANCE JUST DECIDED THEY’D GET THEIR BUSINESS ALL UP IN EVERYTHING

because they’re stupid ahohnonohoho stupid french

this is backwards

OK ANYWAY THIS GUY RICHELIEU.

He was this guy for the Roman Catholic Church. And he was in charge of running France because the king was a little boy. And for some reason he was supporting the Protestants?????

Because the war wasn’t about religion anymore. It was mostly power.

Rich was a cool guy. He didn’t try to take away any rights from the Protestants or anything.

AND HE JUST DIDN’T WANT THE HAPSBURGS TO TAKE OVER FRANCE BASICALLY. So he gave some support to the Swedish Protestant army.

SO ANYWAY FERDINAND APPARENTLY JUST NONCHALANTLY GOT OFF THE THRONE OR DIED OR SOMETHING? IT DOESN’T SAY BUT NOW HIS SON IS ON THE THRONE.

Ferdinand III. Nice name.

And he wanted peace too!

And the Germans were just like GUIZ STOP FIGHTING PLEASE OMG. because people just totally messed up germany nice goin guys

AND THE DECISION WAS MADE TO HOLD A MEETING BUT EVERYBODY HATED EACH OTHER.

and this meeting took like forever beacuse it took like 6 months (no lie) for everyone to figure out where to sit.

THE HECK GUYS /YOU ARE ADULTS/

anyway

after like FOUR YEARS they signed this treaty. Except for the Pope. and some other stupid people.

SO A COUPLE OF THINGS WERE DECIDED.

The Calvinists were given equal rights. Yay!


Sweden was given access to some rivers. So they could stay in the trade business.


France was given some land.

YEP.

THREE THINGS THE WAR DID TO EUROPE.

1: IT SCREWED IT WAY UP.

2: A BUNCH OF PEOPLE THOUGHT ABOUT PACKING UP AND LEAVING GOING THE NEW WORLD.

3: A BUNCH OF PEOPLE ALSO SAID “FORGET EVERYTHING” and just didnt religion because OF STUPID PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

yep.

that was long.

and ended abruptly.

yeah.